Why don't we have a joke thread...?

Highlander · July 14, 2013, 12:26:47 AM

Somebody stung the news crew...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTCOUgVYG3o&feature=player_embedded

Chris P. · July 14, 2013, 02:02:41 AM

I had too laugh quite hard, though the whole situation is tragic.

Why there is no joke thread? The whole forum is.

gweimer · July 14, 2013, 05:09:36 AM

Quote from: Chris P. on July 14, 2013, 02:02:41 AM
Why there is no joke thread? The whole forum is.

Try the shrimp. We're here all week.

Denis · July 14, 2013, 07:08:44 AM

Did you hear about the insomniac, atheist dyslexic?

He stayed awake all night wondering if there was a dog.

Hörnisse · July 14, 2013, 09:13:35 AM

I went to the doctor the other day because my penis was orange. He asked me what I did all day and I replied "eat Cheetos and watch porn."

Rob · July 14, 2013, 09:34:47 AM

I was voting for Denis but then I read Hornisse

godofthunder · July 14, 2013, 10:22:33 AM

I had seen this posted on fb I thought it was just a background for the reporter I didn't realize the anchor person actually read the names off. Sorry I'm ashamed but I'm laughing butt off.

Quote from: CAR-54 on July 14, 2013, 12:26:47 AM
Somebody stung the news crew...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTCOUgVYG3o&feature=player_embedded

gweimer · July 14, 2013, 10:41:54 AM

This is one I remember from the old Reader's Digest days:
An elderly couple, married 50 years is out on the porch, each in a rocking chair.

Suddenly, the wife stops, looks at her husband, and proceeds to knock him out of the chair onto the porch. Stunned, he gets up and asks "What was that for?" She replies, "That's for 50 years of bad sex"

He gets back in his chair, and after about 10 minutes of rocking, he stops, looks at her and then knocks HER out of her chair onto the porch.

She gets up, dusts herself off, and asks "What was THAT for?"

He replies, "That's for knowing the difference"

exiledarchangel · July 14, 2013, 12:19:45 PM

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done.
The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day.
The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.

Doctor: What was the problem?

Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing.
Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing.

Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?!

Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

gweimer · July 14, 2013, 05:36:55 PM

Regarding the OP, in all honesty, it's really sad that this happened. We have a real tragedy, and what happens?

1. Someone thinks it's funny to even put that information up for airing at all
2. The newscaster simply reads it blindly, without registering what she's doing
3. It goes viral on the internet

It's a sad commentary on what we are becoming. There are some things that should be left alone. Punking everything and everyone in sight is more a comment on how little we think of our fellow man than anything.

Dave W · July 14, 2013, 06:37:07 PM

The information came from an intern at the NTSB. I take it he or she won't be offered a permanent position.

Anyway, here's a joke for those of you old enough to remember milkmen who delivered to your house.

Jill hears that milk baths will make her beautiful, so she leaves a note for her milkman asking for 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman reads the note he thinks there must be a mistake so he knocks on the door.

Jill answers and the milkman says, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"

Jill replies, "No. I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath."

"Pasteurized?" asks the milkman.

"No," says Jill. "Just up to my tits."

godofthunder · July 14, 2013, 06:50:23 PM

Morbid hummor..................all I can say is it helps me cope with the tragedies of life and the world.

westen44 · July 14, 2013, 11:30:42 PM

Quote from: Dave W on July 14, 2013, 06:37:07 PM
The information came from an intern at the NTSB. I take it he or she won't be offered a permanent position.

Anyway, here's a joke for those of you old enough to remember milkmen who delivered to your house.

Jill hears that milk baths will make her beautiful, so she leaves a note for her milkman asking for 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman reads the note he thinks there must be a mistake so he knocks on the door.

Jill answers and the milkman says, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"

Jill replies, "No. I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath."

"Pasteurized?" asks the milkman.

"No," says Jill. "Just up to my tits."

The intern must be a 5th grader. That is just SO stupid. And not even funny in the least.

The milk joke is really funny. I needed that one.

Dave W · July 15, 2013, 10:39:33 AM

Now Asiana is threatening to sue the station because of the broadcast.

Really? I'd say the crash did a lot more harm to their reputation than a joke broadcast.

westen44 · July 15, 2013, 10:54:39 AM

Quote from: Dave W on July 15, 2013, 10:39:33 AM
Now Asiana is threatening to sue the station because of the broadcast.

Really? I'd say the crash did a lot more harm to their reputation than a joke broadcast.

Letting their pilot do "training" on a Boeing 777 into the SFO airport was not the brightest of ideas. I'd say they have a lot of things to worry about now.