I guess you already discovered it's not my bass. But to be sure I'll tell you: It's not my bass:)
As Inspector Clouseau would have bantered:
Owner: "Why That's a PRICELESS Steinway..."
Clouseau: "Not Anymore"
Or perhaps more appropriately:
Clouseau: "You said your dog does not bite"
Innkeeper: "Zat misseur is not my dog"