Ripper II pickups

[Highlander]

I wish to complain about this parrot, what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique...

Remarkable bird, the African Grey, isn't it, eh? Beautiful plumage!

[Denis]

Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

[Highlander]

... and I noticed that the language it was spouting came from a recording device taped to the bottom of it's cage... 

[Denis]

Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

[SKATE RAT]

when i was a kid, my friend Alex's mom had a parrot that said "krraaaw Alex,clean your room". all the time. i guess it picked it up from Alex's mom constantly yelling it at him. it was so funny to us, but poor Alex hated that bird.

[uwe]

We had grey parrots and they would ape my father's standard commands to the dogs note perfect driving the poor shepherds nuts with it.

[Denis]

My ex-girlfriend's sister's ex-boyfriend had a grey parrot which would meow like a cat. You'd look all over the house for the cat just knowing it was stuck under or behind something then you'd realize the parrot was screwing with you.

[Dave W]