So what is the Schnauzer joke?
A woman buys some depilatory cream to remove some matted hair from her dog. The pharmacist sees what she's bought and tells her "that's pretty strong stuff. You can use it full strength on your legs but you need to dilute it 50% if you want to use it on your underarms."
The woman says "You don't understand. I'm going to rub this on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says "Well, in that case, better dilute it 80%, and don't ride a bike or slide down any banisters for a couple of weeks."