The Last Bass Outpost

Main Forums => The Outpost Cafe => Topic started by: Dave W on June 20, 2020, 05:34:13 PM

Title: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on June 20, 2020, 05:34:13 PM
(cue David Byrne voice)

You may ask yourself,

How could Gwyneth possibly top her $75 vagina candle?

Here's the answer: Gwyneth Paltrow Reveals Goop's New 'This Smells Like My Orgasm' Candle: 'The Box Has Fireworks' (https://people.com/style/gwyneth-paltrow-reveals-goop-smells-like-my-orgasm-candle/)

Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Pilgrim on June 20, 2020, 05:42:00 PM
Well, I must say that she seems to have conquered that shyness problem.  :o
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Highlander on June 21, 2020, 05:36:50 AM
Hmm... makes you wonder whose buying this stuff...? :o
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Basvarken on June 21, 2020, 06:56:32 AM
Haha, the lady has a wicked sense of humor.  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: uwe on June 21, 2020, 07:40:24 AM
Must try that:

"Honey, orgasms with you stink big time!"
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Highlander on June 22, 2020, 03:14:48 AM
I suppose it's like becoming a wine master or a whisky master... you have to do a lot of tasting... you just have to remember not to miss the spitoon... Does size matter when it comes to nosing...? ;)
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Chris P. on June 22, 2020, 08:55:18 AM
I know people. Lawyers. They have money, bought all the Gibson basses there are. And they need something different.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Pilgrim on June 22, 2020, 09:49:34 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlCbFu5dpc8
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on June 22, 2020, 10:56:48 PM
Quote from: Chris P. on June 22, 2020, 08:55:18 AM
I know people. Lawyers. They have money, bought all the Gibson basses there are. And they need something different.

Something different would be the Gibson Bunny Brunel bass that's still for sale. It would go well with the candle.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Highlander on June 23, 2020, 06:32:40 AM
If we're completely lowering the tone here (remembering that I usually omit all tone controls on my instruments, where possible), for a collector, the candle would prob be best suited to be located with an instrument once owned by a female musician...? :o
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Highlander on June 23, 2020, 06:38:18 AM
As part of the very poor taste drive presently in progress I googled "vagina shaped candle" for additional material and made the quirky discovery a couple of images down that a male of the species has already retaliated with an alternate scented candle...
Not posting a link...

Dave... we need a double-face-palm emoticon for this one... pretty please... :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: TBird1958 on June 23, 2020, 09:24:20 AM


Go away Fish!  :gay:
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Highlander on June 23, 2020, 02:37:32 PM
I worked with a singer/guitarist in the 80's that used to have a band called Slap The Fish... go figure... :o
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Basvarken on June 23, 2020, 02:46:16 PM
https://youtu.be/T8XeDvKqI4E
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on June 23, 2020, 10:54:41 PM
https://youtu.be/HGVShoAWp00
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: uwe on June 24, 2020, 08:30:06 AM
You guys are all weirdos - it doesn't smell or taste like fish at all!  ???

The only similarity is that I like both. As you should.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: TBird1958 on June 24, 2020, 09:13:17 AM
Quote from: uwe on June 24, 2020, 08:30:06 AM
You guys are all weirdos - it doesn't smell or taste like fish at all!  ???

The only similarity is that I like both. As you should.


When it's properly maintained - I agree,  Ms. Paltrow's bits on the other hand (cringes), ugh, no.


You know I like good fish  ;) 
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on June 24, 2020, 03:53:00 PM
Quote from: uwe on June 24, 2020, 08:30:06 AM
You guys are all weirdos - it doesn't smell or taste like fish at all!  ???

The only similarity is that I like both. As you should.

Taste, no. Smell, yes.

Gwyneth's probably smells different, though. Burning candle wax and all that.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Basvarken on July 02, 2020, 09:40:02 AM
Doesn't smell like fish at all.
Unless she's not very hygienic.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: uwe on July 02, 2020, 11:50:29 AM
With all the, uhum, vintage dairy products in the land of the dams, it's sometimes hard to tell.

I would imagine.

OTOH, I wouldn't want to doubt Rob's experience on the subject - as a Dutchman being submerged is a way of life.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: uwe on July 02, 2020, 12:52:17 PM
Quote from: Basvarken on July 02, 2020, 09:40:02 AM
Doesn't smell like fish at all.
Unless she's not very hygienic.

Hygiene can be overdone too. I don't see the point in grazing a flower meadow so to speak. (I wasn't brought on this earth as a sheep.)

Let a true connaisseur speak (Yanks, do not read further, you wouldn't understand and it will only unsettle you):

(https://www.thoughtco.com/thmb/FmEX9rtePc2xv-zz7rT9BwP0X8k=/1514x1009/filters:fill(auto,1)/NapoleonBonaparte1-c288065ba4e042d8a1123a17c4903ff5.jpg)

Napoleon famously sent his wife Josephine the following erotic line from the thick of battle:

"Je reviens en trois jours; ne te laves pas!"

("I will return in three days; don't wash!")

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOeFhSzoTuc
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Bargeon on July 02, 2020, 02:11:03 PM
With a tampon string for a wick?
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: uwe on July 02, 2020, 03:03:50 PM
(https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Uriel_Cohen_Priva/publication/312039571/figure/fig1/AS:446454641762304@1483454489209/Andy-Warhols-Campbells-tomato-soup-left-and-modern-Campbells-cream-of-mushroom-with.png)
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on July 02, 2020, 10:05:31 PM
Quote from: Basvarken on July 02, 2020, 09:40:02 AM
Doesn't smell like fish at all.
Unless she's not very hygienic.

Quote from: uwe on July 02, 2020, 11:50:29 AM
With all the, uhum, vintage dairy products in the land of the dams, it's sometimes hard to tell.

I would imagine.

OTOH, I wouldn't want to doubt Rob's experience on the subject - as a Dutchman being submerged is a way of life.

All I can say is that European women must not smell the same.  :P

Quote from: Bargeon on July 02, 2020, 02:11:03 PM
With a tampon string for a wick?

(https://i.imgur.com/sVBBANy.gif)
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: uwe on July 03, 2020, 09:29:35 AM
Sigh, Americans are a cultureless lot, I always knew it. Tasteless too, obviously.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on July 03, 2020, 10:09:45 PM
Quote from: uwe on July 03, 2020, 09:29:35 AM
Sigh, Americans are a cultureless lot, I always knew it. Tasteless too, obviously.

I thought you figured that out years ago.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: uwe on July 04, 2020, 05:40:23 AM
It's my socialist faith in the betterment of people that keeps deluding me, Dave!
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on July 05, 2020, 09:24:14 PM
After the Vagina Candle and before the Orgasm Candle, it seems there was another one.  :mrgreen:

Another Gwyneth candle! (https://brownvalleyobserver.com/2020/01/24/gwyneth-paltrow-introduces-new-candle-aroma/) 
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: uwe on July 06, 2020, 03:49:50 AM
Once again, any semblance of decorum is on the slide here.  :-\
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: TBird1958 on July 06, 2020, 02:28:46 PM
Quote from: Dave W on July 05, 2020, 09:24:14 PM
After the Vagina Candle and before the Orgasm Candle, it seems there was another one.  :mrgreen:

Another Gwyneth candle! (https://brownvalleyobserver.com/2020/01/24/gwyneth-paltrow-introduces-new-candle-aroma/)


The Brown Valley Observer, of course!     

Still probably better than the used fish store.......
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on July 06, 2020, 05:16:40 PM
Quote from: TBird1958 on July 06, 2020, 02:28:46 PM
   


The Brown Valley Observer, of course!     

Still probably better than the used fish store.......

:mrgreen:

Their motto: "Servicing the entire Brown Valley region since 1974"

Their satire sometimes cuts a little too close to reality for some clueless people. In the past few days their story that Ghislaine Maxwell has tested positive for Covid-19 in a New Hampshire jail has been circulated as fact.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Rob on July 06, 2020, 07:39:38 PM
hahahahahahaha
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on July 07, 2020, 10:45:09 PM
I sent the Brown Valley candle story to a longtime friend of mine, he sent it to a female friend and she believed it! Too close to what Gwyneth actually does, I guess.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: TBird1958 on July 08, 2020, 10:01:50 AM


How Brown was my Valley  :-*
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: 4stringer77 on July 08, 2020, 12:18:25 PM
Babylon Bee has some good satire pieces as well. Speaking of Ghislane Maxwell for instance.

https://babylonbee.com/news/federal-prison-hires-top-rated-italian-bodyguard-hillena-clintonelli-to-protect-ghislaine-maxwell
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on July 08, 2020, 11:38:40 PM
Quote from: 4stringer77 on July 08, 2020, 12:18:25 PM
Babylon Bee has some good satire pieces as well. Speaking of Ghislane Maxwell for instance.

https://babylonbee.com/news/federal-prison-hires-top-rated-italian-bodyguard-hillena-clintonelli-to-protect-ghislaine-maxwell

I love the Bee but let's stay away from political satire. Besides, vaginal satire is more fun.
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Pilgrim on July 09, 2020, 08:58:25 AM
Quote from: Dave W on July 08, 2020, 11:38:40 PM
I love the Bee but let's stay away from political satire. Besides, vaginal satire is more fun.

And once again, our peerless founder has discovered a great band name: Vaginal Satire. 
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on July 09, 2020, 11:30:45 PM
Quote from: Pilgrim on July 09, 2020, 08:58:25 AM
And once again, our peerless founder has discovered a great band name: Vaginal Satire.

I like it! Will all the fans have to wear Gwyneth masks to shows?
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: uwe on July 10, 2020, 11:01:14 AM
Vaginal Satire?  :rolleyes:

I prefer Pussy Joke as a band name. :popcorn:
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: westen44 on July 11, 2020, 09:40:15 PM
Pussy Riot is already taken by that Russian band which used to be on the news from to time.  I think I also saw a documentary they were in, but that was years ago.   I can't say I know much about them. 
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Dave W on July 11, 2020, 09:47:45 PM
New product line idea for Gwyneth: spices!

(https://i.imgur.com/cqWhiHP.jpg)
Title: Re: Votive candle news
Post by: Highlander on July 12, 2020, 07:25:14 AM
:mrgreen: