The Last Bass Outpost

Main Forums => The Outpost Cafe => Topic started by: Freuds_Cat on May 04, 2010, 06:25:35 AM

Title: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Freuds_Cat on May 04, 2010, 06:25:35 AM
OK now I reckon dave has been guilty of posting some pretty out there news articles lately so when I saw this one I couldn't resist.

I'm just gonna post it      and walk away quietly .......

http://www.newser.com/story/87719/man-dies-after-friends-insert-eel-in-his-rectum.html (http://www.newser.com/story/87719/man-dies-after-friends-insert-eel-in-his-rectum.html)
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: uwe on May 04, 2010, 07:29:28 AM
That much for having eel at Chinese restaurants. I always felt that those poor creatures looked intimidated in their aquariums.

Given the shape and general muscular nature of this species of fish, this has probably been tried before. Make sure to feed the fish before though.
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Dave W on May 04, 2010, 08:25:41 AM
What a horrible way to go! Almost makes tapeworms pleasant by comparison.
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Denis on May 04, 2010, 08:27:14 AM
The first time I had eel on sushi I thought it tasted like ass. Now I know why.  :P

And by the way, can we get a "vomit" icon, please?
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Chris P. on May 04, 2010, 09:26:07 AM
I hear a similar story once in a while in Holland about guys putting an eel in a girls knickers. It ate his way up, from the, erm, front.

In Holland we call this an Broodje Aap Verhaal. Monkey-sandwich-story. How's this called in English? Urban legend or something?
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Rhythm N. Bliss on May 04, 2010, 12:08:49 PM
With friends like that, who needs enemas?

Sorry.
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Barklessdog on May 04, 2010, 01:41:09 PM
Everything ties together neatly today, Eels, rectums & the Catholic Church.
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Pilgrim on May 04, 2010, 02:02:52 PM
Everything ties together neatly today, Eels, rectums & the Catholic Church.

What, no gay sheep?  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: godofthunder on May 04, 2010, 02:09:30 PM
With friends like that, who needs enemas?

Sorry.
You took my line ! great minds think alike. ;D
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Freuds_Cat on May 04, 2010, 05:27:06 PM
/me is laughing with tears at these comments.  :D
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Aussie Mark on May 04, 2010, 06:10:58 PM
No matter how drunk someone is, I can't imagine it would be easy to insert an eel up their ass.
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Hornisse on May 04, 2010, 06:51:03 PM
I think the worst we ever did in high school was shave one leg or one eyebrow off of the passed out dude. 
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Freuds_Cat on May 04, 2010, 09:26:05 PM
Hmmm, the time we chained a drunk, naked groom (to be) up to a petrol pump at the Smithfield Roadhouse
or

Put another guy on the overnight train to Melbourne (800kms) so drunk that he slept almost all the way.

or....


um...maybe I will just stop now   :sad:


I have to say though that I did stop them the time they wanted to paint a guys nutz fluro green the night before his wedding.


Eels in anus'    over the line IMHO
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Barklessdog on May 05, 2010, 03:41:58 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glUnzzoFUxg&feature=channel
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: uwe on May 05, 2010, 06:15:24 AM
No matter how drunk someone is, I can't imagine it would be easy to insert an eel up their ass.

Eeels are incredibly strong. I remember extracting an oil barrel from a swamp when I was a ten year old and as the rusty brownish water poured out a suitably aggravated eel - it was really pissed at being evicted -  came with it. I had pulled the oil barrel on land quite some bit, so the eel was crawling over land, it wasn't more than 2 1/2 foot I'd say, maybe 3, but I had no chance holding it in place, it was way too muscular for me back then. And it wasn't slippery and slimy either, rather leathery in fact, its sheer muscle force reminded me of a constrictor snake (which, btw, can exert pressure on a rib cage similar to a full-size train resting on it, you die not from suffocation or because your rib cage breaks, you die because the sheer exerted pressure keeps your heart from being able to pump anymore).

What I'm saying is: Anus muscle versus eel muscle, the outcome is pretty clear.

Uwe
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: gweimer on May 05, 2010, 07:05:58 AM
What I'm saying is: Anus muscle versus eel muscle, the outcome is pretty clear.


I'm thinking more reddish.   :vader:
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Pilgrim on May 05, 2010, 08:10:02 AM
That's not a "prank", that's a medieval torture technique!
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: uwe on May 05, 2010, 10:44:24 AM
That was actually my fist thought. Reminded me of the rat in the cage strapped on the face of the poor victim whose mouth is forced wide open. Then heat is applied and the rat tries to escape having only one place to go.

"Room 101 is the worst thing in the world."
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Highlander on May 05, 2010, 11:24:45 AM
That was actually my fist thought.

Mark... Uwe's calling...
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: uwe on May 06, 2010, 03:37:39 AM
(apprehensively) Can we start with a thinner eel with its mouth clamped shut before we move on to, errm, greater things?
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Highlander on May 06, 2010, 01:15:14 PM
(Freudian slip)  ;)

(http://www.robotmonkeylab.com/Monkeyshop/Eel/Mermaid%20w_Eel.JPG)
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: TBird1958 on May 06, 2010, 02:02:40 PM


 Lube anyone?   :gay:





 "Room 101 is the worst thing in the world."


Definately an all time fave book..........Ahhhh.................... The Ministry of Love  ;)



Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: uwe on May 06, 2010, 04:54:39 PM
Oh man, I only realied that now, my "fist" thought. Freudian slip alright, how fi(s)t(t)ing!!!
Title: Re: Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum
Post by: Rhythm N. Bliss on May 06, 2010, 08:01:36 PM
(Freudian slip)  ;)

(http://www.robotmonkeylab.com/Monkeyshop/Eel/Mermaid%20w_Eel.JPG)

I've got a one-eyed eel for that redhead mermaid.
Course it ain't quite as big as that black one. heh

The so-called friends of the poor guy who died are gonna end up in prison with one-eyed eels up their asses too!!!