Coffee via enema?
That reminds me of a century-old joke:
Post-operation, the patient is thirsty and begs the nurse for something to drink. But the nurse says: "I'm not allowed to give you any liquids orally for at least 24 hours, I'm sorry." The patient keeps complaining. The nurse, trying to do her best, finally relents: "I could do an enema with tea, that is thirst-quenching, shall I?" The patient, resigned to his fate: "Whatever." So the enema is prepared and the fluid begins to run until the patient suddenly winces. "What's wrong?" asks the nurse, looking concerned. The patient: "Nurse, you forgot the damn SUGAR!"
I know. Germans think that's funny. Jokes aren't an easy thing for us. No laughing matter.