If the R tailpiece didn't shatter and the 4000 series tailpiece didn't tail-lift and the bridge was adjustable without removing the strings, if the volume pots were on top and the tone pots at the bottom as logic dictates, if the pickguard was vinyl and didn't crack when you raise the neck pickup, if pre-85 rods didn't crack the neck when adjusted like any other bass on the planet, if the Grovers didn't fall apart, if the bridge pickup could be raised or lowered without affecting the handrest height, if the fretboard wasn't so heavily lacquered, if the neck pickup's volume didn't drop when you bend a string, if the bridge allowed you to palm-mute, if the manufacturer offered more than 4 clichéd finishes or, dare I say, a custom shop - then what would we love so much about these basses?