My birth family found me !

godofthunder · February 20, 2015, 03:22:12 AM

Guys thanks so much I was happy to share here.......................I do feel like you guys are good friends if not extended family. So far so good. I have been talking with my sister, getting lots of info, stories and pictures. Both Mom and Dad have passed. Mom always hopped we were well and did look for us but would get scared and back off. That knowledge alone is comforting. as a parent I knew she never forgot about us, just nice to here it. I'll post updates and more pictures!

uwe · February 20, 2015, 06:55:04 AM

How many dozen half-siblings do you now have?

Di bio-mom and bio-dad stay together? Did they have children again and/or with others? Did those know about your and your sister's existence?

And the most pressing question on my mind: Did bio-dad like to work with wood? Did he like to do things with, uhum, saws?

godofthunder · February 20, 2015, 11:34:29 AM

Well I all ready knew Mom and Dad didn't stay together, pretty sure that Grandpa ran him off. The details don't matter. Mom was young when she had us, there was no way should take care of us. My siblings are half but I am not a fan of half this or half that. I have a sister and a brother,a niece and cousins. It's ballooning that's for sure!

Pilgrim · February 20, 2015, 01:35:02 PM

Quote from: godofthunder on February 20, 2015, 11:34:29 AM
Well I all ready knew Mom and Dad didn't stay together, pretty sure that Grandpa ran him off. The details don't matter. Mom was young when she had us, there was no way should take care of us. My siblings are half but I am not a fan of half this or half that. I have a sister and a brother,a niece and cousins. It's ballooning that's for sure!

Agreed. They're yours or they're not - no room for "half this or that."

uwe · February 20, 2015, 02:41:24 PM

I just wanted to use the correct term!

drbassman · February 20, 2015, 02:43:08 PM

That's nice to hear Scott! I kept up contact with my other family for about 5 years. Dad died and I felt like I was intruding on them just a bit. You see, my dad named his first son with his second wife Bill, same as me. That didn't sit well with my new brother and I could always tell he was uneasy with me when we'd visit. Kinda felt like Larry, Darryl and Darryl! I can't blame him. He was the big brother to the other 3 siblings and then I come along out of nowhere. All of a sudden, he was second banana. I felt bad about it.

We never had any falling out or words over it. I just stopped contacting them after dad's death and they seemed happy to do the same. At least we all know of each other and had a chance to meet while he was alive. We learned a lot about one another's childhood and medical histories, that was great info. Someday maybe I'll check in on them again. It will have to feel right to do so.

Another big issue was my mom. She hated the fact I found him, but my adopted dad had been gone for 15 years and I wasn't looking for a replacement. Just some family history and understanding of my roots. I'm nothing like my mom and a lot like my bio-dad. After meeting him, it was clear who I took after and why mom and I never got along! You can't undo your genes. Anyway, best wishes to you Scott. I'm glad I did it and don't have any bad feelings about it not mushrooming into a bigger extended family. It is what it is and I'm better for the experience. Thanks for listening guys and thanks for sharing Scott. Hope I didn't go on too long and wreck your party!

PS: My dad owned a mural painting company and he did the sides of trucks, semi-trailers and RVs. His clients were entertainers, mostly CW folks like Merle Haggard and his generation. So, when they toured the US, his artwork was on their equipment trucks and RVs. Pretty cool job! My grandpa was the carpenter.

Pilgrim · February 20, 2015, 02:55:15 PM

Family histories sometimes have well hidden secrets. There's a whole branch of my family my mom never mentioned until I bumped into a grand-aunt by sheer coincidence during my one and only visit to the family graveyard in Missouri. What are the odds that I would visit once, she would be there, and we'd strike up a conversation? Then my mom had to 'splain!

drbassman · February 20, 2015, 03:16:08 PM

Quote from: Pilgrim on February 20, 2015, 02:55:15 PM
Family histories sometimes have well hidden secrets. There's a whole branch of my family my mom never mentioned until I bumped into a grand-aunt by sheer coincidence during my one and only visit to the family graveyard in Missouri. What are the odds that I would visit once, she would be there, and we'd strike up a conversation? Then my mom had to 'splain!

Oh yeah, I'll bet that was fun! I was glad I met my dad, he was nothing like my mom said, not to mention the inaccuracies of many of her stories about him. It was educational for sure.

godofthunder · February 20, 2015, 05:29:20 PM

Bill, Really thanks so much for sharing your experience. I can't can't replace my parents, Mom and Dad they were. Both gone now almost 20 years. I don't expect a story book ending. Mom ( Bonnie my birth mom) passed away in 2003, my father is up in the air but most likely gone. Already I have gotten more than I could have ever expected. Mom worried, wondered and even tried to find us. As a parent I knew in my heart she did, how can you forget a child ? To know this is affirmation. For the here and now I am talking with my sister, connected with cousins, even nieces to a family history that goes back 11 generations. To know where you came from is a wonder, who knows where you are going?

godofthunder · February 20, 2015, 05:37:26 PM

And really the support of you guys means very much to me. Though most of us have never meet you guys are my friends.

godofthunder · February 20, 2015, 06:10:17 PM

Uwe it's ok!

OldManC · February 20, 2015, 07:58:18 PM

Quote from: drbassman on February 19, 2015, 09:14:37 AM
I found my bio-dad back in 1994 or so... Just some family history and understanding of my roots.

Exactly. When I was growing up I knew there were other people who were adopted and all (and I realize your story is a little different in that it was only your bio-dad that you didn't know), but I always felt a little alone in all the feelings and emotions that came with not having been born into my family in the typical way. My parents and family were and are awesome, and I never had any resentment or "issues" with being adopted, but it's been cathartic as an adult to find people whose story isn't too dissimilar to mine. Even in a bass chat room!

Mark, I'm also glad you got to establish that relationship with your dad.

drbassman · February 23, 2015, 08:47:05 AM

Quote from: godofthunder on February 20, 2015, 05:37:26 PM
And really the support of you guys means very much to me. Though most of us have never meet you guys are my friends.

Amen Scott! This is like a second home. Well, maybe more like a clubhouse!

Dave W · February 23, 2015, 08:54:43 PM

Quote from: drbassman on February 23, 2015, 08:47:05 AM
Amen Scott! This is like a second home. Well, maybe more like a clubhouse!

All right, you guys, no snapping towels in the locker room!

Highlander · February 24, 2015, 01:16:18 AM

Okay, which of you "jocks" put the superglue on my box...?!