Official language for EU

[Chris P.]

OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF THE EU

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-Engli
...sh".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

[Basvarken]

briljunt!

[Highlander]

Gor blimey, wot's the wurld comin' tah...?

[uwe]

It's always wise to speak the language of whoever picks up the bill. One would think. Given that England's contributions to the European Union have been mainly threefold:

- it will never happen,
- if it happens, it sure won't work,
- if it works, we still won't like it and participate sincerely, but do a great job whining in the aisles,

English as the de facto language of the EU shows just how compassionate its members are, even to backward island people. And given the fact that in, say, fifty years from now Spanish will be the main language in North America, it's nice to know that there will be - apart from India - at least one other major player who still speaks English in a world filled with Mandarin, Spanish/Portugese (Brazil) and Russian.

The above joke Chris posted has been circulated among EU public servants for at least the last fifteen years, who says they don't have humor!!!

[Pilgrim]

English as the de facto language of the EU shows just how compassionate its members are, even to backward island people.

Hey, we Nortamericanos are also on an island - just a really, really big one!

And given the fact that in, say, fifty years from now Spanish will be the main language in North America, it's nice to know that there will be - apart from India - at least one other major player who still speaks English in a world filled with Mandarin, Spanish/Portugese (Brazil) and Russian.

In a few years we'll have multiple dialects:

Southern
Texan
New Englander
Ballmer (Baltimore)
Midwestern
Politispeak (commonly found in DC and when politicos travel)
Southern Cal Valleyspeak
Spanglish (found throughout the Yew Ess of Ay)
Hoser (Beauty, take off, eh?)

[jumbodbassman]

how could you forget Brooklyn.   Don't you watch the Jersey Shore?

[Dave W]

Minnesota has its own sub-dialect, doncha know.

[Pilgrim]

how could you forget Brooklyn.   Don't you watch the Jersey Shore?

Fortunately I have successfully avoided that!

Minnesota has its own sub-dialect, doncha know.

Oh yah, OK then.

[Aussie Mark]

And given the fact that in, say, fifty years from now Spanish will be the main language in North America, it's nice to know that there will be - apart from India - at least one other major player who still speaks English in a world filled with Mandarin, Spanish/Portugese (Brazil) and Russian.

and, don't forget Arabic

[uwe]

Funny, I actually thought about that, but then had doubts whether the Arabic World will ever get its act together. So far it hasn't done a very good job at that (and, no, for once Israel cannot be blamed!) and I'm no great fan of the so-called Arabian Spring. I'm with Yoda on that: "Difficult to see the future is - always in movement."

[Highlander]

Ah... that explains it... my lot come from an Island off the Brit Isles...  and everyones related to everyone else...

[uwe]

One of those secluded DNA regions then where sis says to brother "Wow, you're even better at sex than dad!" and her brother replies chuffed: "That's what mom tells me too all the time!"

This little joke was 100% anal sex free. I expect some recognition for that. Decorum is non-negotiable.

[Highlander]

You forgot to mention the sheep, and the custard-filled wellies...

... and that ever popular ballad - "Ewe Ewe" by the Sheepmen...

[TBird1958]

One of those secluded DNA regions then where sis says to brother "Wow, you're even better at sex than dad!" and her brother replies chuffed: "That's what mom tells me too all the time!"

This little joke was 100% anal sex free. I expect some recognition for that. Decorum is non-negotiable.

Damn! ........ Fancy European Hillbilles 

[westen44]

Funny, I actually thought about that, but then had doubts whether the Arabic World will ever get its act together. So far it hasn't done a very good job at that (and, no, for once Israel cannot be blamed!) and I'm no great fan of the so-called Arabian Spring. I'm with Yoda on that: "Difficult to see the future is - always in movement."

Not an area I'd consider myself an expert on.  But I believe I know enough about to say that it's very likely history will prove you correct.