Funny USAF jokes and lingo

[Blazer]

For somebody who has a healthy interrest in everything that flies I learned about certain lingo used by airforce pilots and I figured it to be funny to put some of it down.


This is a Northop "SNARK" missile
This was one of the first serious attempts at making an unmanned aircraft that would guide itself onto the designated target, the crude autopilot would guide the thing by means of navigating  by homing in on a large bright star and using that to determine a straight level flight to the target zone. It worked well in simulated tests but in practice the forces of launching the thing threw the computer off balance and once airborne, the missile would fly too fast for the computer to even get a hold on the star it was supposed to guide itself on. As a result many of the missiles which were tested at Cape Canaveral landed in the sea soon after they were launched. Eventually when the plug on the project was pulled, so many Missiles were lost that the crews on Cape Canaveral joked that the waters were "SNARK infested"


This is a Curtiss SB2C "helldiver" bomber.
The Helldiver was meant to replace the aging Douglas Dauntless bomber on american aircraft carriers but it quickly proved a dog. The helldiver had a notoriously stubborn attitude which was a far contrast from the forgiving nature and easy to fly character of the Dauntless. Many Helldiver pilot lost their lives by just trying to land the aircraft. In which the pilots who survived the ordeal joked that "SB2C" stood for "Son of a Bitch Second Class"

A common joke is the so called "Colonel's landing" in which they take on the highest rank which a flying officer can have: Colonel. The joke is about a colonel spending more time behind his desk than in the cockpit of his aircraft so he gets out of practice after a while. And the joke is "The higher the rank, the worse the landing."

[uwe]

I knew of the Helldiver's bad reputation, but I always liked its looks. Like an elongated two-seater Thunderbolt. Without having specs here, it could probably outclimb, outdive, outcarry and outrange the Dauntless, yet take a real beating too. Just as long as you were able to land it that is!

[Barklessdog]

I never knew that about the Helldiver. Who says you can't learn anything here?

[Chris P.]

When I read this thread I thought about the first Hot Shots movie. In it is a colonel who has done like a couple of thousand flights but he never landed a plain correctly:)

[Blazer]

When I read this thread I thought about the first Hot Shots movie. In it is a colonel who has done like a couple of thousand flights but he never landed a plain correctly:)

And "Hot shots" totally got that from the Joke I just explained.

Anyway here's some more.


This is a Douglas A3D Skywarrior carrier borne Bomber.
The Skywarrior was one of the largest aircraft to operate from aircraft carriers and enjoyed a reputation for being dependable and easy to fly. HOWEVER the Skywarrior also had a very nasty shortcoming: it did not come with ejection seats and in a state of emergency, the three man crew had to bail out from a small hatch in the roof of the cockpit which was notoriously difficult to get out of. And thus gave the Skywarrior the reputation of being a flying casket for three and the crews joked that "A3D" stood for "All three dead"

An A3D Skywarrior with the escape hatch open, can you imagine trying to get out of this while the aircraft is going down?


These are Republic P47 Thunderbolts.
The thought behind the Thunderbolt was that if lightweight materials made for a fast aircraft, then having a big aircraft with the most powerful engine they could find would also do the trick. Nicknamed the "Jug" because of the big rotund fuselage, the P47 made quite an impression on the Brittish pilots when the American Eighth airforce brought them in in 1943. With the Thunderbolt being much higher and longer than a Spitfire, the brittish pilots joked that their American collegues would hide inside that huge bulking fuselage when being attacked.

[TBird1958]

MMMmmmmmmmm........P-47D model with a Hamilton Standard variable pitch prop, one badass Mo-Fo! If I had to fly a plane in WWII it would have be this one. 2000HP Pratt and Whitney Radial engines came home with entire cylinders shot away from flak, no Spitfire was  going to do that!
Think of it like an MG and say a 1970 Hemi 'Cuda.........

[uwe]

Great plane it was. Even we had a few and man were they hard to get!






The Luftwaffe operated at least three captured TBolts - for instruction, testing and propaganda plus possibly reconaissance flights over Allied territory. Adolf Galland, German Experte and Me 262 pilot, flew one and marvelled at the size of the cockpit being used to the confines of the Me 109 (and the cockpit of the Mustang was even more comfortable for the pilot than the TBolt's). Willy Messerschmidt was highly impressed on the quality of the engine. Requested by the Führer to comment on it: "It is of better quality than anything we could build at this time. Why did you have to declare war on America?!"

Overall though, Luftwaffe pilots felt more comfortable with the Mustang or the Spitfire, I guess those were closer to what they knew from the Me 109. Among German fighter aces, the FW 190, which was a bit more akin to the TBolt due to the air-cooled engine of its A series, never gained acceptance even though "regular pilots" preferred it for its ruggedness and better handling. Allied pilots felt the opposite: They preferred captured FW 190ies to Me 109s.






Beneath 10.000 feet a FW 190 D (the captured one above is an A) could pretty much outdo a P-47D at everything (except perhaps diving), but above 10.000 feet - where the bombers and their escorts flew - it was another matter. There the P-47 could hold its own and more and the liquid injection would enhance its performance for a couple of minutes which very often was crucial in a dogfight.

[godofthunder]

MMMmmmmmmmm........P-47D model with a Hamilton Standard variable pitch prop, one badass Mo-Fo! If I had to fly a plane in WWII it would have be this one. 2000HP Pratt and Whitney Radial engines came home with entire cylinders shot away from flak, no Spitfire was  going to do that!
Think of it like an MG and say a 1970 Hemi 'Cuda.........

Yep give me a P-47 any day !

[Barklessdog]

Goals

I guess The Thunderbolt excelled at what it was really designed for-long range bomber escort and ground attack. I don't think it was ever intended as a "dogfighter"?

What's not to love by "flying jugs"

[uwe]

No doubt about it. My favorite WW II plane and crucial for US Air superiority in Europe. By the time you introduced the Mustang, the Luftwaffe wasn't a serious opponent anymore.

[Chris P.]

No doubt about it. My favorite WW II plane and crucial for US Air superiority in Europe. By the time you introduced the Mustang, the Luftwaffe wasn't a serious opponent anymore.

It surprises me it doesn't read: 'By the time you introduced the Mustang, we weren't a serieous opponent anymore.'


I always have a week spot for the Spitfire and the C47. I think about refinishing my Bird in green with black 'n white D-Day stripes. In that case I have the bass to overrule ze whole German köllektiön!

[TBird1958]

A brief check of Roger Freeman's The Mighty Eighth reveals this about top US aces in the ETO:

Francis Gabreski 56th FG, P-47 28 victories
George Preddy 352nd FG, P-47 and P-51 27 1/2, was shot down in the '51
Robert Johnson 56th FG P-47 27 victories
John Meyer 352nd FG, P-47 and P-51 24 victories
David Schilling 56th FG, P-47 22 victories
Don Gentile 4th FG Spitfire Mk V, P-47, P-51 21 victories
Hubert Zemke CO of 56th FG, 9/42-8/44 P-47 17 victories - w/479th was lost flying a P-51 10/30/44

The list goes on and on, alot of US pilots flew and were sucessful in the Thunderbolt and while they did indeed get transfered to the 9th Air Force and used in the ground attack role, it's worth noting that the fighter group with the highest victory total was the 56th, a P-47 group that flew the plane throught the war.
Major Wilhelm Galland (brother of Adolf Galland) was shot down by the 56th FG flying P-47's on 8/17/43,
once modified for high altitude long range operation by the addition of of water injection, paddle blade props and shackles/plumbing P-47's were more than able to hold their own with the Luftwaffe.
Quite a plane!


   

 

[uwe]

Well, by the time the Mustangs ruled the air, there were hardly any German planes to shoot down! Hunting was just better when the P-47 was still the USAAF mainstay. And of course as Germany's Luftwaffe hobbled to its bitter end, the pilots were told more and more to not engage in battles with the escorts but solely go for the bombers and use their ammo and fuel on them.

[Blazer]

I knew of the Helldiver's bad reputation, but I always liked its looks. Like an elongated two-seater Thunderbolt. Without having specs here, it could probably outclimb, outdive, outcarry and outrange the Dauntless, yet take a real beating too. Just as long as you were able to land it that is!

Even stronger, when the testpilots who flew the Helldiver prior to it going in production handed in their reports, they adviced the navy NOT to go ahead with it. But nobody listened because the escalation of the war demanded that the Dauntless should be replaced as soon as possible.

When the Royal Fleet Air Arm of the Brittish Navy was offered the plane and got their hands on 26 examples to try out, their findings echoed what the American testpilots already said. The Brittish pilots were so appauled with the Helldiver's flight handling that they never even bothered to go anywhere near an aircraft carrier with it. One of the pilots remarked that for a purposely designed Dive Bomber it never came close into being a dive bomber.