Germany's Got Talent

[Dave W]

From Das Supertalent, Germany's version of the Got Talent franchise. You just don't see talent like this in the US.

It was on network TV in Germany, but in the US, you might want to consider it NSFW.

[Rob]

Who said there was no humor in Germany?

[Chris P.]

I'm blind now

[Basvarken]

Yeah, the Germans know what talent is.

[amptech]

Fantastic!

[uwe]

What is there to get excited about? You all know we're anal at heart, wir finden das lustig!

The man with the Camp David polo shirt - Dieter Bohlen - is by the way the songwriter, producer and brain-half behind Germany's most successful music export:

[uwe]

PS: But in fact it was a sociological/anarchist statement on the whole Super Talent hype. Duckie L'Orange (the artist) is Australian and a counterculture stand-up comedian/cabaret person (you can tell that she does pantomime as a job). She wanted to make a point how Bohlen's show is crap (I wholeheartedly agree) in its entirety and short of taking a dump on stage, this is as close as she could get. Of course, extracting the sausages from her behind might have been an option too.

[Basvarken]

I saw an interview with Dieter Bohlen a while ago. The interviewer tried - very cautiously- to find out if Bohlen could laugh about the ridiculous eighties crap that Modern Talking was. If he was able to display some kind of self-mockery when looking back.
None whatsoever! Bohlen was immensely proud and dead serious about it. Without the slightest feeling of embarrassment... 

[uwe]

Bohlen really thinks he is an artist. 

Modern Talking is divisive to put it mildly.  Most people profess to hate them, yet they sold zillions of albums. I used to hate them too (and never bought a record), nowadays they are a cult guilty pleasure - in small doses I hasten to add (and yes, I meanwhile have a Greatest Hits CD of theirs which Edith won't even allow me to play at home!).

There is only a handful of German bands that have been truly successful on an international level: When you are outside of Germany and you hear a German band on the radio it is either Kraftwerk, Scorpions, Modern Talking, the truly horrendous Scooter or Rammstein. That's about it.

If you want to add a few more bands that - albeit nor really commercial top tier - had at least a lasting artistic influence outside Germany, you can put Can, Tangerine Dream and maybe Accept into the equation as well. 

[Dave W]

Lucky me, I never heard of Modern Talking. Or of Duckie L'Orange.

Just like in the US and UK, the reactions from the panel are all fake, they know what's coming. Still, they let her perform. Sadly, she didn't advance to the next round. I don't wonder why.

[amptech]

Bohlen really thinks he is an artist. 

Modern Talking is divisive to put it mildly.  Most people profess to hate them, yet they sold zillions of albums. I used to hate them too (and never bought a record), nowadays they are a cult guilty pleasure - in small doses I hasten to add (and yes, I meanwhile have a Greatest Hits CD of theirs which Edith won't even allow me to play at home!).

I must admit that I was not as lucky as Dave, Norway was really invaded (again ) with this crap. When I was 10 years or so I was a dancer, and my dad bought me all the Modern Talking albums. It was really hip back then, but I had to hide the LP's as my older brother's hard rock records was on regular display if I had friends over. My own collection was thin, a couple of AC/DC albums, some Twisted Sister, Dio, Krokus, a Venom casssette, and the Modern Talking albums

As a grown up looking back, I have two questions:

That guy who is a lead singer.. If live singing ever happened to them, how does he know what lyrics to sing?
They had five or six albums with 10 songs all with the same backing track, right?

And the guitar player, what is fuelling his stage act? All the coke in Columbia couldn't help here - looks like
a hefty mix of acid, speed and religion of some sort

[Basvarken]

There is only a handful of German bands that have been truly successful on an international level: When you are outside of Germany and you hear a German band on the radio it is either Kraftwerk, Scorpions, Modern Talking, the truly horrendous Scooter or Rammstein. That's about it.

I guess The Netherlands are an exception to that rule ;-)
You hear quite a lot German artists/bands on the radio over here.

[uwe]

I must admit that I was not as lucky as Dave, Norway was really invaded (again ) with this crap. When I was 10 years or so I was a dancer, and my dad bought me all the Modern Talking albums. It was really hip back then, but I had to hide the LP's as my older brother's hard rock records was on regular display if I had friends over. My own collection was thin, a couple of AC/DC albums, some Twisted Sister, Dio, Krokus, a Venom casssette, and the Modern Talking albums

As a grown up looking back, I have two questions:

That guy who is a lead singer.. If live singing ever happened to them, how does he know what lyrics to sing?
They had five or six albums with 10 songs all with the same backing track, right?

And the guitar player, what is fuelling his stage act? All the coke in Columbia couldn't help here - looks like
a hefty mix of acid, speed and religion of some sort

Amptech, console yourself, there is nothing wrong with dancing to Modern Talking albums. As regards the German invasion, you guys took ample revenge on us with the once ubiquitous a-ha! Did I ever complain about that? 

Thomas Anders (the dark-haired one) is actually a good singer - Bohlen chose him because of the feminine qualities of his voice (no, Anders isn't gay) without sounding screechy. Their trademark became the repetition of each and every chorus in every song with falsetto harmony vocals - kind of Bee Gees in the Saturday Night Fever era minus the musicality.

I have a theory why I do not despise Modern Talking like a lot of people do. I only realized this much later and after they had already split up for the first time, but Anders' singing echoes in some ways that of Russell Mael of the adorable Sparks - minus the intellectual-sarcastic bite and wit and of course dumbed and muzaked down. But when Russell croons the musically less off the wall Sparks songs (lyrically, they are all off the wall), I  definitely hear parallels. Since Sparks are often perceived as the godfathers of all synth duos (Yazoo, Pet Shop Boys, Erasure), Bohlen as the brain behind Modern Talking (I know, that sounds like an oxymoron and it is!) might have even been aware of some of their work in their Giorgio Moroder synth-disco phase.







https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVTH7OsNbhs&list=RDTVTH7OsNbhs&start_radio=1&t=41



That is probably the first time that Modern Talking (epitome of dumb and shallow music) and Sparks (epitome of smart music with depth) have been mentioned in one thread and their singers even accused of similarities. Both sides will hate me now. 

[4stringer77]

There is only a handful of German bands that have been truly successful on an international level: When you are outside of Germany and you hear a German band on the radio it is either Kraftwerk, Scorpions, Modern Talking, the truly horrendous Scooter or Rammstein. That's about it.

What a surprisingly slim list for a country that gave us Bach and Beethoven. I imagined the inate musicianship of the nation would have lent itself to a few more hot bands than that. I guess that explains why we felt bad for you guys and gave you David Hasselhoff, or maybe the fact you like the Hoff is why you have so few popular bands.

[westen44]

And where are the French rock artists?  France is great at producing existential philosophers and really cute female pop singers.  But I can't name even one French rock band that has had massive international success.  I'm not knocking France.  I just wonder what happened.  At least Germany has the Scorpions and Holland has Golden Earring (which I'm a fan of, by the way.)