Jokes topic

[exiledarchangel]

It would be cool a jokes thread, don't you think so?  Ok I start with this one:



C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."

So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished; the G is out flat.

An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au naturel.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides he needs a rest - and closes the bar.

[rahock]

The other day I'm walking past a mental hospital and I hear a bunch of people chanting "thirteen, thirteen, thirteen".  I try to see what's going on, but there is a tall fence and I can't see  over or through it. After looking around for a while, I find a little gap between the boards on the fence where I can peep through.
I put my eye up to the fence to see what the deal is, and some son of a bitch pokes me in the eye with a stick! Damn that hurt!

I'm standing there with my hand over my eye, cussing up a storm, and I hear the same voices chanting again,"fourteen, fourteen, fourteen".
Bastards!

Rick

[hieronymous]

Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?




















Took him an hour to get the drummer out!