Worst Scam message Ever

[Pilgrim]

I just got an email that I knew would be fun before I opened it.

The subject line was:

"Assalamualaikum; I need Your Kind assistance contact email: mrs.zaitonmunsif101@outlook.com"

The body of the message wasn't as fun as the subject...

"I am Mrs. Zaiton Munsif, a Muslim woman who was married to Late Engr. Sabar Ahmad Munsif, who worked with Kuwait National Petroleum Company (KNPC)as land rig offshore. I need your kind assistance to set up a charity organization, kindly contact me for more details via email: mrs.zaitonmunsif101@outlook.com"

Yeah, sure, y'betcha.  But this one egregious misspelling gives me a grin whenever I read it: "Assalamualaikum"

Holy geez.  That one one must have been made up by a 12-year-old with a phonics background.

Might as well write:  "I are noebell pryze wynner who needz finanshul bakking fer cherrytuble endevvvvor."

Let the commentary commence.    

[uwe]

Under market rules, it must still work with some idiots somewhere. I can't believe that anybody still falls for this "I have a sudden amount of cash I need to get out of the country quick, will you pay for some of my expenses beforehand before we share the bounty"-scam. Nigerians overdid it twenty years ago - before the widespread advent of emails.

I've seen relatively skillful ones, in faultless English too, but the core story is always the same.

[Dave W]

When I get the $20 million I'm due from a Nigerian prince, I'll help you out with expenses.

[gweimer]

OK, we need someone to dig out the link for the Cult of the Red Circled Breast.

[Nocturnal]

I was shocked that I got one of those "I will pay you and my shipping agent will pick it up" text messages last month when I listed my Trace preamp on Craigslist. I haven't seen one of those in years.

[lowend1]

Found this in my spam folder today:

Special Agent in Charge of the FBI’s Atlanta Division
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Intelligence field unit
2635 Century Parkway N.E,
Suite 400 Atlanta, GA 30345 USA
E-Mail: agentjohnedward208@yahoo.com
 
 
Urgent Attention:
 
 
I am Special Agent John Edward from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (Atlanta Division) Intelligence Unit. We have just intercepted and confiscated two (2) trunk boxes at Hartsfield Jackson Atlanta international airport, and are on the verge of moving it to our bureau head quarters.
 
 
We have scanned the said boxes, and have found it to contain a total sum of USD$4.5M and also backup document which bears your name as the receiver of the money contained in the boxes. Investigations carried out on the diplomat who accompanied the boxes into the United States has it that he was to deliver this fund to your residence as your contract/inheritance payment which was due you from the office of finance Minster of the federal government of Nigeria.
 
 
We cross-checked all legal documentation in the boxes, and were about to release the consignment to the diplomat, when we found out that the boxes is lacking one very important documentation which as a result, the boxes have been confiscated until the required document is provided.
 
 
According to section 229 subsections 31 of the 1991 constitution on release of unclaimed consignment payment, your consignment lacks funds ownership certificate and for that reason you must contact me for direction on how to procure this certificate, so that your consignment can be legally cleared and okay for delivery to you.
 
 
You are required to contact this bureau within 72 hours or we would take it that you do not want your consignment, and would move it to the treasury Also, you must not contact any other bank for any payment, because your payment is here in care of our storage vault team and will be released to you once you follow my directives.
 
 
You have been warned.
 
Yours in service,
Agent John Edward
E-Mail: agentjohnedward208@yahoo.com
Special Agent in Charge of the FBI’s Atlanta Division.

[Pilgrim]

The saga of Brother Joe Eboh and the Red Breast

http://www.419eater.com/html/joe_eboh.htm

[uwe]

LOL, I almost began to feel sorry for Prince Joe. Almost. 

[Aussie Mark]

More outstanding Nigerian baiting experiences here http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com

[Rob]

LOL, I almost began to feel sorry for Prince Joe. Almost.  

When one of the questions on the Western Union document is "Why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near" and the poor bast'id answered "I don't know" I spit cola on my screen.
I felt sorry for him when I saw the giant scar on his forehead  

[uwe]

Is Karen Carpenter a scammer too?  Nothing is sacred anymore.

[Dave W]

Bringing this back to the top.

Fun with a Facebook hacker/spammer. 

[gearHed289]

Speaking of facebook, I got this today.

Hello dear,

its my pleasure to contact you,

i go through your profile here in Facebook i found that you are such a responsible human been i will be happy to know you more.

Please try and contact me through my email address Joy2013desmond@yahoo.co.uk

so that i will have an access to write you more about me and also send you my pictures for further introduction, Please don't be upset i hardly come on Facebook always,

Your friend, Joy.

Joy2013desmond@yahoo.co.uk

[Pilgrim]

If you are a "human been" does that mean you are now past tense?

I suspect implications of your demise are greatly exaggerated.  

"... i hardly come on Facebook always..."

Decorum forbids my attempting to interpret this phrase.