The Last Bass Outpost

Really.

Rag-Time: How to Clean Your Guitar for Better Tone (http://www2.gibson.com/News-Lifestyle/Features/en-us/guitar-cleaning-0104-2011.aspx)

Is author Ellen Barnes trying to become the new Anne Erickson?

Some of the comments are brutal.

Your supposed to clean them...? That's where I went wrong then...!

Quote from: Highlander on June 29, 2015, 12:12:53 AM
Your supposed to clean them...? That's where I went wrong then...!

+1 !   :mrgreen:

huh, and for all these years I've just be holding my bass as I walk though the car wash.  Thankfully this article was published so I know how to properly do it and what products to purchase.  Plus, those spinning brushes hurt so this will be much easier.

Thanks Gibson!

But what if you don't want a clean tone, but a dirty one?

But seriously, a dirty fretboard, in extreme cases could possibly affect tone a little.  Like I mean sticky gummy levels of dirt.

I am also wondering if Gibson is doubling down on Anne's schtick and going all Onion on us (except poorly executed, as usual,.... as well as hocking overpriced accessories.... also as usual).

what a pant load. it must be part of that lifestyle/brand thing. i'll have to get one, lifestyle that is.

By rights, that quote shouldn't even be allowed here:

"The finish on older guitars is often significantly thinner, yielding a better tone."


I also like this piece of personal hygiene advice here:

"Make sure to squirt your polish onto a rag, not onto the surface of your guitar."

That much then for orgiastic feelings about a new guitar!  :-\

Gibson legal hasn't grasped the concepty of the disclaimer/caveat:

"... when strumming acoustically."

My favorite comments so far:

"In the studio I was having the problem of getting that perfect tone that separates a million dollar single from a ten million dollar single. The famous producer whom I can't name here suggested I clean my guitar with some crap in a bottle. It made all the difference and bought me a Bentley. Thanks crap!"

"Well, a nuclear-fueled power-washer and Brillo pads have always worked well for me...Then polish with a dabba bacon grease applied with a toothbrush (the big ones they use on horses work well). I also keep a couple pounds of beach sand in my case to "cushion" the guitar when traveling..."

"I will release this neck slicker secret one time and one time only! I keep a Ron Popiel set it and forget it rotessiere oven offstage to my left.Enclosed inside the oven in all their glory are 4 pork jowels golden brown and dripping juices. I discretily wipe the neck and then throw the offending jowel to an appreciative fan.Now you know."

I like how they say you should clean your guitar each time you change strings, and that taking the strings off allows better access to the fingerboard, and then in the next section that you should clean your fretboard only 1 or 2 times per year...  :o

there are no rules here. goddamn are people really that dim. do they need an instructional booklet for every single thing they will ever do in life. i think not!

If you can't see the strings anymore, then it's a good time to clean.

Perhaps Gibson, or at least the "author" can see how many Fender custom shop guitars are out there and the price they command for the relic'd finishes..:)   

It's just a marketing thing for polish kits, can't read into it anymore than that.

Quote from: Dave W on June 29, 2015, 03:21:54 PM
My favorite comments so far:

"In the studio I was having the problem of getting that perfect tone that separates a million dollar single from a ten million dollar single. The famous producer whom I can't name here suggested I clean my guitar with some crap in a bottle. It made all the difference and bought me a Bentley. Thanks crap!"

"Well, a nuclear-fueled power-washer and Brillo pads have always worked well for me...Then polish with a dabba bacon grease applied with a toothbrush (the big ones they use on horses work well). I also keep a couple pounds of beach sand in my case to "cushion" the guitar when traveling..."

"I will release this neck slicker secret one time and one time only! I keep a Ron Popiel set it and forget it rotessiere oven offstage to my left.Enclosed inside the oven in all their glory are 4 pork jowels golden brown and dripping juices. I discretily wipe the neck and then throw the offending jowel to an appreciative fan.Now you know."

I liked this one: "tone polish is sold next to blinker fluid in walmart."

so even with crappy tone you can still sell one million records.

Quote from: Dave W on June 29, 2015, 03:21:54 PM
"In the studio I was having the problem of getting that perfect tone that separates a million dollar single from a ten million dollar single. The famous producer whom I can't name here suggested I clean my guitar with some crap in a bottle. It made all the difference and bought me a Bentley. Thanks crap!"

"Live I was having the problem of getting that perfect tone that separates an $800 gig from an $825 gig.  The bartender whom I can't name here suggested I forget the polish and asked if we do any Nickelback..."

Quote from: chromium on June 30, 2015, 12:44:12 PM
"Live I was having the problem of getting that perfect tone that separates an $800 gig from an $825 gig.  The bartender whom I can't name here suggested I forget the polish and asked if we do any Nickelback..."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Quote from: Blackbird on June 30, 2015, 07:28:38 AM
Perhaps Gibson, or at least the "author" can see how many Fender custom shop guitars are out there and the price they command for the relic'd finishes..:)   

It's just a marketing thing for polish kits, can't read into it anymore than that.

Nothing wrong with marketing their polish kits. Nothing wrong with their polishes either.

Plenty wrong with having an idiot write a dishonest article like this. I'm happy that it's being ridiculed, though I doubt anyone in Gibson's marketing department is listening. They're too busy being awesome and trying to become more awesome.  ;)

I took exception to the advice "Play it safe by removing only two or three strings at a time so that you don't cause the neck tension to go out of whack". It doesn't say which tree to remove!

Quote from: Dave W on July 01, 2015, 02:09:07 PM
Nothing wrong with marketing their polish kits. Nothing wrong with their polishes either.

Plenty wrong with having an idiot write a dishonest article like this. I'm happy that it's being ridiculed, though I doubt anyone in Gibson's marketing department is listening. They're too busy being awesome and trying to become more awesomer.  ;)

Fixored

concerning the word awesome and its present popularity.i think it entered the lexicon for good when the datsun 240 z's were introduced way back when. awesome was the main identifier in the company's  sales slogan which i can't really recall. the word was always around of course but these car ads seemed to give it new life. now you can't escape its popularity. i know this is semi far afield but i've been wanting to explain this theory for a while. yeah, i know... :o ???

That was awesome, Nofi! Gorgeous explanation!!!

I had a Datsun Cherry once. There was nothing remotely awesome or gorgeous about it IIRC.

I had a 1970 240Z, white with blue interior.  It was indeed awesome. For its day, it had a wonderful balance of performance, handling, styling, and reasonable comfort.

So much so that since then, I've had a 1976 280Z, a 1982 280ZX, and my current 1983 280ZX Turbo.  Bought it in 1990 and been enjoying it for 25 years.

(http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j306/apowell1/Cars/280%20ZX%20Turbo/P5010136.jpg)

Quote from: Granny Gremlin on July 21, 2015, 05:38:15 AM
Fixored

I was just repeating what Henry said to that woman who flew over from the UK for a job interview. Of course she could have misquoted him, she was probably distracted by his Marty Feldman eyes.

Next weird bit:

"If your pickups look rusty, you'll want to unscrew their faceplates with an Allen wrench and, being careful not to disturb the wiring, clean the rust with a rust-dissolving agent."

The only time that would remotely apply would be for Dimarzio or Schaller pickups, and even then you would be removing the pole pieces. Pickups also tend not to have 'faceplates', so I really don't know what they are getting at. Clearly this was written by a non-player, which perhaps nicely summarises the root of a fair few problems with Gibson at the moment.

Quote from: Alanko on July 22, 2015, 03:15:34 AM
Next weird bit:

"If your pickups look rusty, you'll want to unscrew their faceplates with an Allen wrench and, being careful not to disturb the wiring, clean the rust with a rust-dissolving agent."

The only time that would remotely apply would be for Dimarzio or Schaller pickups, and even then you would be removing the pole pieces. Pickups also tend not to have 'faceplates', so I really don't know what they are getting at. Clearly this was written by a non-player, which perhaps nicely summarises the root of a fair few problems with Gibson at the moment.

Here's the way I handle a rusty pickup: First I dunk the whole pickup in a vat of specially formulated Gibson naval jelly -- it cleans the gunk off the electrons, allowing them to flow freely again instead of colliding with each other. But there's always some rust left on the cover, so I put a special Gibson ToneGrit disc on my angle grinder and grind it away. Then I refinish the cover using Gibson Tone Shaping Spray Chrome. Finally I reinstall it using only Gibson Vintage Solder.

Total cost is only about $500 per pickup!  :mrgreen: