Another LBO tradition is posting articles about Gwyneth Paltrow whether anyone really wants to or not. So here is my first attempt. This one has a pic of a plunging neckline, etc.
My personal preference is Sydney Sweeney. But with the exception of Gwyneth Paltrow it seems that Dave preferred that we not muck up a site that's not supposed to be about hot women, but about bass. Sydney Sweeney would be an inexhaustible source. She posts pics of wearing a bra every time she gets a new one.
There is some kind of inside joke about Dave and Gwyneth Paltrow and Dave which only Uwe and Dave seemed to understand. I guess that's how these kinds of topics started.
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a70549685/gwyneth-paltrow-red-carpet-photos-actor-awards-2026/
Children, the story goes as follows: While discussing the pros and cons of the Epiphone Jack Casady Signature vs the original Gibson Les Paul Sig, I dared to make the comment that the Epi is a bit like Gwyneth P: good-looking at first sight, but inherently boring. This led Dave - and I'm sure he regretted this subsequently,
KEITH, DON'T READ THIS! - that he wouldn't mind spending some time with Gwyneth, boring or not, and we took it from there. You know how I don't forget things.
But in honor of the great man, his real crush was the erstwhile Mrs Van Halen, Ms Valerie Bertinelli:
(https://ew.com/thmb/UrDwS5nqx26wnaL6j1qgtshEvps=/1500x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Valerie-Bertinelli-Eddie-Van-Halen-030426-74b0eaa8a6c14ffc8336cf072d68b349.jpg)
So now you know.
That reminded me of this skit.
https://www.facebook.com/chris.orciuch/videos/1380881328049/
As for the young registered Republican with great genes/jeans: She always looks like Amanda Seyfried's baby sis to me, those outsize MANGA (not: MAGA) eyes ... A very American look. I still have to watch that movie where they both star, hopefully I will be able to tell them apart.
For girl-next-door sex appeal I frankly still give a damn about Scarlett:
And Kristen Stewart is nicely edgy too:
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/0d/5d/0b/0d5d0b958e385f920223e903c1209d32.gif)
But if you are adamant about big eyes and good genes:
I'm glad the full story has been revealed. I didn't even know about most of that. And if Dave's real crush was Valerie Bertinelli, he had good taste.
But I totally agree that big eyes and good genes = Margaret Qualley. I haven't even seen many of her movies, but I've seen several and liked every one. Starting with IO which is an unusual and outstanding sci-fi movie. That's IO the moon of Jupiter, not the number 10. IO often receives bad reviews,though, mostly written by people who don't understand science fiction or existentialism. But I will admit if it had anyone else besides Margaret Qualley, it wouldn't have been as good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3GLhAumiec
Not saying that Sidney can't act. I really liked her jaded performance in the first season of The White Lotus.
It's just my opinion, but I think she has been clumsily placed in a difficult position politically. After those jeans/genes commercials they tried to pin a conservative label on her. But she is in a damned if you do/damned if you don't situation. I saw one comment in which she said something to the effect that I'll let you know what I really think when I feel like telling you.
Personally, I can't seem to get enough of Sydney Sweeney. This video still hasn't gotten old.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mEC54eTuGw
IO looks interesting. I'm not familiar with Margaret Qualley, but I may be soon.
There's a Brit prog band called IO Earth. Is there something about that moon that would suggest supporting Earthling life?
Sweeney had bad PR counseling on the jeans/genes ad, her first (non-)reaction was adolescent, when a few words from her could have averted the onslaught. When she finally caved in/did not want to be the poster girl for the wrong people, a lot of damage had been done. It hurt her movie where she played the lesbian boxer I think, now people on both sides were enraged. BTW: I don't think there is a racist bone in her body, she was just thoughtless/tone-deaf.
And American Eagle could have easily prevented the dog whistle white supremacy accusations by simply running side-by-side an ad with some hot African-American actrice in a pair of bum-hugging black jeans who could have cooed: "And my jeans/genes are Black ...". Easy!
Revlon knew how to do this three decades ago, it's not THAT difficult, but the guys and girls who made the American Eagle campaign were obviously help- and hapless.
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRfaszXGGIjGfrM8yYPpP9hkwfEj6rQ4kNPjg&s)
(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/7f/78/85/7f78855e0d5a4ea1904b39171d2a0d80.jpg)
Of course I can't read people's minds. But in the day we're living in I can't say that many people out there would want to be called a conservative. Sure conservatives are eager to spread what they're peddling to as many people as possible. But most people just don't want that. In fact, strictly my opinion, but the U.S. may be going the way of Mexico when, in effect, it only had one real political party from 1929-2000--the PRI. It may not look exactly that way now for America, but that's a very distinct possibility.
In Sydney Sweeney's case, her mother threw a Trump-themed birthday party. That led people to make assumptions about Sydney herself. She stated the whole thing had been made into an absurd political statement and asked for people to stop making assumptions. You've also got the better known jeans ad situation which, as already discussed, put Sydney into a conservative light. Call me crazy, but when I looked at her in those jeans, I wasn't thinking about politics. But neither was Sydney.
She's a registered Republican - so was James Stewart and is Rick Springfield - which is just as fine as being a registered Democrat as a Hollywood actor/celebrity. I read that the "Trump-themed birthday party" of her mother was actually remote relatives from the city showing up at the birthday bash dressed as/cosplaying what they imagined people in rural areas looked like, MAGA hats and all. At least that is what Sweeney said (again only belatedly, overall she handles her PR badly).
PS: I liked IO too, it was almost "Russian cinematography" in how somber it was.
I liked Solaris in the original Russian. That one was kind of somber. But so are many Russian movies. I find that appealing. A movie doesn't necessarily have to look like Disneyland. There is quite a difference between European and American movies. European movies are more reality based. But I like all kinds of movies.
I just happened to read some viewers' comments about IO. Almost all were negative. But besides the movie being a great example of stark sci-fi, it's also a convincing display of existentialism in action. If life really is meaningless and absurd as existentialism seems to say, the Margaret Qualley character makes the most of it. She is on an earth where everybody has decided it's not even worth living on anymore, but young Sam, like her father, still believes in life on earth. In a very much against the odds way. She makes her own meaningfulness in a determined way that defies reason. Sartre would have been proud of the character. But all those armchair critics are so annoying to me. Some are so fanatical they seem to think Netflix shouldn't exist anymore just because they don't like IO. I fail to see why I should care about amateur online movie critics anyway who overrate themselves. I don't care and I'm sure Margaret Qualley cares even less. She has a pretty good career that seems to be going somewhere.
Now Gwyneth Paltrow is getting attention for what she wore at the Oscars. I guess because she is in her 50s, this was a little unexpected. But there are no rules stating you can't wear a naked dress in your 50s.
https://pagesix.com/2026/03/15/style/gwyneth-paltrows-oscars-2026-dress-is-slit-all-the-way-up-the-sides/
Age is just a number. She looks great.
Quote from: Ken on March 16, 2026, 07:38:32 PMAge is just a number. She looks great.
I saw that. She looks darn good IMO. I couldn't believe how different Jessie Buckley looked; I'd never have recognized her from Hamnet.
I personally thought her dress was a little drafty.
Dave wouldn't have let her wear that.