Just went through this long distance (NJ / FL) with my sis. She was diagnosed last fall with Stage 4 metastatic lung cancer, and did the chemo, hoping for some extra time. We tried to get her to move back to NJ, but she wouldn't hear of it. Hospice, morphine, the whole magilla. We lost her at the end of August, and I wound up traveling down there to clean out her apartment, donate some stuff, load her old Jeep with the rest and head back home. My dad is 92 and is in no way capable of handling any of this stuff himself. She died without ever signing the will, etc - despite efforts on the part of her friends and myself to get her to do so, so that compounds everything.
Scott, I've got a 15-year old son that tests us on a regular basis, so I know it ain't easy. Mood swings, attitude, you name it. A friend of mine is a single dad with a 16-year old daughter that doesn't even acknowledge him when he congratulates her on a good game or whatever, and it breaks his heart. All you can do is be there to help them get up after they fall.
Re the van... what year/brand is it?