Author Topic: Musical Joke of the Day  (Read 3733 times)

Denis

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Musical Joke of the Day
« on: October 21, 2009, 07:24:23 AM »
A biology graduate student went to Borneo to take some samples for his thesis work. He flew there, found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. About noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. Being a city boy by nature, the biologist was disturbed by this. He asked the guide, "What are those drums?" The guide turned to him and said, "Drums OK, but VERY BAD when they stop."

Well the biologist settled down a little at this, and things went reasonably well for about two weeks. Then, just as they were packing up the camp to leave, the drums suddenly stopped! This hit the biologist like a ton of bricks, and he yelled at the guide,

"The Drums have stopped, What happens now?"

The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said: "Bass Solo!"
Why did Salvador Dali cross the road?
Clocks.

Dave W

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2009, 07:52:24 AM »
I remember when my great grandfather told me that joke.  ;)

Denis

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2009, 07:53:34 AM »
Heh, we must be about the same age.  ;D
Why did Salvador Dali cross the road?
Clocks.

uwe

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2009, 10:31:43 AM »
I read that hand-painted on the walls of some bronze age cave ...
We've taken too much for granted ... and all the time it had grown ...
From techno seeds we first planted ... evolved a mind of its own ...

Highlander

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2009, 02:13:44 PM »
That's known over here as the "Mark King Joke" (didn't know he was that old...  ;D)
The random mind of a Silver Surfer...
If research was easy, it wouldn't need doing...
Staring at that event horizon is a dirty job, but someone has to do it; something's going to come back out of it one day...

ilan

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2009, 03:18:33 PM »
I first read it in Jeff Berlin's column in Guitar Player magazine, early 80's IIRC. But it's a good one.
The guy who bought the same bass twice — first in 1977 and again in 2023

Highlander

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2009, 11:55:03 AM »
Is there such a thing as "the other bass-player joke...?"  ;D
The random mind of a Silver Surfer...
If research was easy, it wouldn't need doing...
Staring at that event horizon is a dirty job, but someone has to do it; something's going to come back out of it one day...

rahock

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2009, 04:39:19 AM »
Is there such a thing as "the other bass-player joke...?"  ;D

I used to know a couple of guys who did a lot of studio work and they liked to refer to this one. "How do you shut up a bass player?"
"Give him a piece of sheet music."
Rick

Dave W

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2009, 07:04:15 AM »
What do you say to a bass player in a three-piece suit?

Will the defendant please rise.

GonzoBass

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2009, 08:24:13 PM »
"How do you shut up a bass player?"
"Give him a piece of sheet music."

Ahh, one of the differences between a 'Bass Player' and a 'Bassist' defined right there.
 ;)

I use to hear it as:
How do you get a guitar player to turn down?
Put sheet music in front of him.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/



Aloha-
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Basvarken

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #10 on: October 27, 2009, 03:48:23 AM »
Man wakes up out of narcosis.
There's a surgeon at his bed, he tells him:
Welcome back sir! I have some bad news and I have some good news for you.
The bad news is, we had to remove 80% of your brains...
The good news is, we bought you a bass guitar.

luve2fli

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #11 on: October 27, 2009, 07:40:39 AM »
What did the bassist get on his IQ test?



....... Saliva
"I think it's only proper that I play until the last note of a set, then fall over and die. The band won't have to play an encore and they'll still get paid for the gig" (Dr. John)

Dave W

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #12 on: October 27, 2009, 10:23:07 AM »
What did the bassist get on his IQ test?



....... Saliva

Unfair! That's a drummer joke!  ;D

Pilgrim

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2009, 07:21:23 PM »
Son: "Daddy, I want to grow up and be a bass player."
Father: "Son, you can't have it both ways."

Ba-da-BIM!!
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."

Highlander

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Re: Musical Joke of the Day
« Reply #14 on: October 29, 2009, 01:42:40 PM »
Encore...! Encore...! (but not the bass solo, please...!)

Apart from the suit (which no longer fits me) that I got married in... OK Dave... guilty as charged... ;D

Just one thing... what's "sheet music"...?
The random mind of a Silver Surfer...
If research was easy, it wouldn't need doing...
Staring at that event horizon is a dirty job, but someone has to do it; something's going to come back out of it one day...