I know. As have I (probably more agnostic though), but I was brought up a Catholic by my agnostic/atheist parents of likewise Catholic descent (I gave up believing when no one could explain the Holy Trinity to me coherently when I was about 10 and inquisitive, that bugged me no end - I still haven't heard a good explanation). So I refer to myself as 'culture-Catholic' these days, because to me Catholicism - like being Jewish - transcends religion and is actually a cultural umbrella. There is no Jewish 'race', that is an invention of antisemitism, and religious belief is only one aspect of Jewish culture, which as you have said has many Eastern European influences too, not just Holy Land.
"He's a real hairy Esau" was a common comment when I was a child, meant to describe anyone with prominent body hair. Probably also a cultural thing. Tellingly, I've never met anyone with a Protestant/Lutheran background who knew what it meant.