I'm feeling down right now, mainly because of a conflict of priorities with the lead guitar player in my new band. He has played for years, and right now he's out of work and has plenty of time to devote to music. I'm not a pro and have no desire to be one, and I'm full-time employed with a number of additional responsibilities such as online teaching and serving on two boards that severely limit the time I have available for practice.
We're working up about two hours of music for a gig in early October, and we're about 80% there. To me, band practice is supposed to be fun. I come in reasonably prepared, but in some cases there are chord progressions or rhythm patterns I need to work on, and I need the context of the rest of the band to help me out. But if I am not ready to roll through two or three numbers, he's on my case about not practicing, and not doing what I need to. He alternates praising my meter and tone with complaints about my not being fully prepared. I think his expectation is that all band members will spend however many hours are required to have the entire set ready to go, and that band practice is just for getting our mutual timing down and resolving minor details. I can certainly see that point of view, but it's not an approach I can always conform to, as I just don't have the time to achieve that state of readiness. I need the band together as a group to work through some things.
If this keeps up, one of us will be leaving the band soon. He plays in a couple of other bands, but I think he needs this one to generate some $$. I respect that, but it's also his problem, not mine. I can only do what I can do - and if playing isn't fun, I'm not interested. I don't respond well to people repeatedly criticizing me, and I'm not looking forward to our next meeting.
The band's goal isn't to gig all the time, but I'm wondering if his notion of how much we can play is quite different than mine...and perhaps that of other members. I think that would be a good thing to discuss this week.
This is really bugging me right now, as I'm not used to failing at things I want to achieve. I frankly don't believe that I am failing, but it's clear that his approach and mine need to find a middle ground or one of us will be leaving. If it comes to that, I'm going to ask for votes from the three other band members and live with the result.
Comments?