Open Letter to Henry J:
"Dear Henry,
mein Name ist Uwe, ich bin innöcent. I haff a fffiew of your feine basses. I did not instigate or condone this. My misled countrymen ... Ostfront all of them! I don't even like Sting either!!!! That peroxied Fenderling wiff hiz squeaky voice ... Please do continue building your instruments for handicapped minorities - basses that is - in whatever shape or form, with nuts cut from the last unicorn horn and Sequoia tops, I do not care, I vill glädly continue to buy them all!!!
Subservient Regards
Uwe
PS: For ze avoidance of doubt, lieber Henry, all open border issues between Poland and Deutschland have long been resolved amicably and juskiewiczly too!!!"
Phew!!!