The Last Bass Outpost
Main Forums => The Outpost Cafe => Topic started by: Dave W on January 10, 2020, 07:17:00 PM
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No, really. And it's only $75.
Gywneth Paltrow Is Selling A Candle That Smells Like Her Vagina (https://www.dailywire.com/news/gywneth-paltro-is-selling-a-candle-that-smells-like-her-vagina)
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I'm wondering about the production process - how do those candles attain that scent? And if we are talking about a handicraft cottage industry approach with the personal owner inserting (I use the term in all innocence) herself into the process (as would befit a brand such as goop), then I fear that production numbers need to be carefully curbed - for quality as well as health reasons.
Just my two scents, really.
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Flash thought: Wouldn't lighting such a candle bring up some intensive memories, lieber Dave?
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Flash thought #2: With goop's more recent product liability issues well documented, I do hope that those candles come with a health warning that their employment for perineum tanning constitutes a severe and dangerous misuse and cannot be recommended. People do all kinds of things!
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Flash thought: Wouldn't lighting such a candle bring up some intensive memories, lieber Dave?
It would probably bring Blind Boy Fuller to mind.
https://youtu.be/_yqiwId6-04
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I'm wondering about the production process - how do those candles attain that scent? And if we are talking about a handicraft cottage industry approach with the personal owner inserting (I use the term in all innocence) herself into the process (as would befit a brand such as goop), then I fear that production numbers need to be carefully curbed - for quality as well as health reasons.
Just my two scents, really.
My God.......... Why!? :puke:
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It would probably bring Blind Boy Fuller to mind.
https://youtu.be/_yqiwId6-04
Or Hot Tuna....no pun intended, but it fits so well....no pun intended.....better quit while I'm ahead. :o :o :o :o
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Or Hot Tuna....no pun intended, but it fits so well....no pun intended.....better quit while I'm ahead. :o :o :o :o
Blind Boy Fuller also wrote and sang I Want Some of Your Pie and Sweet Honey Hole. He was a gourmand! :mrgreen:
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:mrgreen:
(https://i.imgur.com/IH9ib0l.jpg)
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:mrgreen:
(https://i.imgur.com/IH9ib0l.jpg)
;D ;D ;D
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:mrgreen:
(https://i.imgur.com/IH9ib0l.jpg)
Dear God! I just blew snot out my nose laughing at work!
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Can anybody explain to me what so funny about exchanging smileys? I think I've lost track ...
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Can anybody explain to me what so funny about exchanging smileys? I think I've lost track ...
Not sure what you mean. No one's exchanging smileys, it's just a reaction to the tweet.
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Can you imagine being hired to do the QC on those?
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Ah, now I get it! My office computer blocks twitter and other social media so I indeed only saw your smileys.
On a related note:
https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/jan/13/why-is-gwyneth-paltrow-selling-a-candle-that-smells-like-her-vagina-goop
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The Guardian columnist is quite witty. A lot of humor going on there.
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;D ;D :toast:
"Because Gwyneth no longer has just her head up her vagina; she has crawled all the way inside. I am torn between suggesting this is a very advanced yoga position accessible only to those who have endless free time to practise, and pointing out this is The Human Centipede, but for extreme narcissists. Let’s go with both."
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That's why Steve Bannon and I are avid Guardian readers. (Even if, I hasten to add, our deeper motivations aren't entirely the same!)
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Apparently she's now got a show on Netflix.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MunlAm7IGsE
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That Guardian article is hilarious.
I'm sure her Netflix show will only promote medically sound ideas. :rolleyes:
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I'm sure her Netflix show will only promote medically sound ideas. :rolleyes:
And the perfect theme song for the netflix show: Candle in the wind :)
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Candle
in the with a wind ...
Fixed it for ya!
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Another tweet. :mrgreen:
(https://i.imgur.com/obv8QJY.jpg)
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:mrgreen: But I honestly don't know where this comes from! Or what fish you guys eat, but I don't associate the two at all (except in locker room'ish jokes). For some reason, women just feel self-conscious about their aroma, I've always wondered why - their mothers must be to blame, it's an upbringing thing. Same nonsense as about their periods, cherry pie is fine with me. (Or was, for the last 20 years or so, I've spent my life with women who were either very early or very late into their menopauses. :) )
What I do find though (and other men as well who I have raised the issue with, strangely women don't feel the same way or at least don't admit it) is that truffle aroma smells like semen. No joke. I don't have issues with a truffle aroma or the scent of semen for that matter, but given the fact how many people go crazy about it (truffle taste, not semen), I always think to myself: That is not a scent I generally associate with food, but you're welcome to have all you can eat ... :mrgreen:
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:mrgreen: But I honestly don't know where this comes from! Or what fish you guys eat, but I don't associate the two at all (except in locker room'ish jokes). For some reason, women just feel self-conscious about their aroma, I've always wondered why - their mothers must be to blame, it's an upbringing thing. Same nonsense as about their periods, cherry pie is fine with me. (Or was, for the last 20 years or so, I've spent my life with women who were either very early or very late into their menopauses. :) )
What I do find though (and other men as well who I have raised the issue with, strangely women don't feel the same way or at least don't admit it) is that truffle aroma smells like semen. No joke. I don't have issues with a truffle aroma or the scent of semen for that matter, but given the fact how many people go crazy about it (truffle taste, not semen), I always think to myself: That is not a scent I generally associate with food, but you're welcome to have all you can eat ... :mrgreen:
A shot of Amaretto prior will fix that problem. 8)
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:mrgreen: But I honestly don't know where this comes from! Or what fish you guys eat, but I don't associate the two at all (except in locker room'ish jokes). For some reason, women just feel self-conscious about their aroma, I've always wondered why - their mothers must be to blame, it's an upbringing thing. Same nonsense as about their periods, cherry pie is fine with me. (Or was, for the last 20 years or so, I've spent my life with women who were either very early or very late into their menopauses. :) )
What I do find though (and other men as well who I have raised the issue with, strangely women don't feel the same way or at least don't admit it) is that truffle aroma smells like semen. No joke. I don't have issues with a truffle aroma or the scent of semen for that matter, but given the fact how many people go crazy about it (truffle taste, not semen), I always think to myself: That is not a scent I generally associate with food, but you're welcome to have all you can eat ... :mrgreen:
I'm from Seattle, I know what good fish should taste like. ;D
Regarding seman, I can't say that I've made any association with truffles...........Hmmmmm perhaps some research is in order :gay:
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A shot of Amaretto prior will fix that problem. 8)
On the truffles or the fish?
As usual, you are confusing me.
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On the truffles or the fish?
As usual, you are confusing me.
The truffles.
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Now we're talking!
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Guys, this thread has inspired me to create a candle of my own. I call it "This Looks Like My Penis". Anyone wanna see? ;D :o 8)
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Guys, this thread has inspired me to create a candle of my own. I call it "This Looks Like My Penis". Anyone wanna see? ;D :o 8)
No, and I don't want to hear any claims about scale length, either... :-X
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Fretless? :o :rolleyes: :-X
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Guys, this thread has inspired me to create a candle of my own. I call it "This Looks Like My Penis". Anyone wanna see? ;D :o 8)
Lieber Tom,
I found this under the merchandise of your Norm-a-dick Whorizon site ...
https://nomadichorizon.bandcamp.com/
(https://media.lasvelasdemariano.com/c/product/vela-falo-520x520_nIlrFci.jpg)
Now I really do like the graininess/veininess, you got that down up swell, but are you sure about the fin? I find it a bit garish. :-X You might erect an unwanted impression there to something that is otherwise - cue in Gary's Amaretto house recipe - rather tastefully done. (Sadly, I found that the item is momentarily out of stock. Having to make do, I ordered your CD instead.)
Advice for concerned parents: The debilitating and morally corrosive effect of this so-called "Prog" on adolescents is often underestimated!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1klpKy_3hY
Subliminal messages everywhere! (No, that is not a "light bulb" underneath her chin.)
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51OPpGlRmcL.jpg)
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:mrgreen:
(https://i.imgur.com/I71996v.png)
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OMGoop, I see everything in a different light now. Nothing is innocent!
(https://img.discogs.com/N82JNH_aDGYPjhGCWs_DU-xVO6I=/fit-in/600x528/filters:strip_icc():format(jpeg):mode_rgb():quality(90)/discogs-images/R-8011003-1493665947-3919.jpeg.jpg)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E0FCrimVlI
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In case you don't believe me, it's all true, here's proof:
Thanks again for your support,
Bandcamp (on behalf of Normadick Whorizon)
Download help · Contact Normadick Whorizon · BC Fair Trade Music Policy
Purchased: January 17, 2020 5:40 PM
Bandcamp transaction ID: 2860717286
PayPal transaction ID: 4NM84738745593429
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That's wicked.
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My usual aggregate state! :popcorn:
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Lieber Tom,
I found this under the merchandise of your Norm-a-dick Whorizon site ...
https://nomadichorizon.bandcamp.com/
(https://media.lasvelasdemariano.com/c/product/vela-falo-520x520_nIlrFci.jpg)
Now I really do like the graininess/veininess, you got that down up swell, but are you sure about the fin? I find it a bit garish. :-X You might erect an unwanted impression there to something that is otherwise - cue in Gary's Amaretto house recipe - rather tastefully done. (Sadly, I found that the item is momentarily out of stock. Having to make do, I ordered your CD instead.)
Advice for concerned parents: The debilitating and morally corrosive effect of this so-called "Prog" on adolescents is often underestimated!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1klpKy_3hY
Subliminal messages everywhere! (No, that is not a "light bulb" underneath her chin.)
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51OPpGlRmcL.jpg)
;D ;D ;D Thank you for your purchase. Shipping today!
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Lieber Tom,
I found this under the merchandise of your Norm-a-dick Whorizon site ...
https://nomadichorizon.bandcamp.com/
(https://media.lasvelasdemariano.com/c/product/vela-falo-520x520_nIlrFci.jpg)
Now I really do like the graininess/veininess, you got that down up swell, but are you sure about the fin? I find it a bit garish. :-X You might erect an unwanted impression there to something that is otherwise - cue in Gary's Amaretto house recipe - rather tastefully done. (Sadly, I found that the item is momentarily out of stock. Having to make do, I ordered your CD instead.)
Advice for concerned parents: The debilitating and morally corrosive effect of this so-called "Prog" on adolescents is often underestimated!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1klpKy_3hY
Subliminal messages everywhere! (No, that is not a "light bulb" underneath her chin.)
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51OPpGlRmcL.jpg)
Are the penis' back in stock? A couple would look good around the house, I seem to recall leaving a couple of them in the bathroom when the plumber had to visit........Mildly embarrassing. :gay:
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Perhaps Tom - little Progger he is - has broken the mold curtailing further production?
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Perhaps Tom - little Progger he is - has broken the mold curtailing further production?
Shrinkage perhaps? :-*
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New at Walmart!
(https://i.imgur.com/vAQTpsw.jpg)
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I can't help but observe that "Coochie Stank" could easily become a punk band name.....
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Is this even vegan?
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I can't help but observe that "Coochie Stank" could easily become a punk band name.....
;D ;D ;D
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I'll never see breakfast the same :rolleyes:
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I'll never see breakfast the same :rolleyes:
Breakfast tacos, anyone?
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Don't know about you guys, but I need my breakfast cup of tea.
(https://www.deutschlandfunkkultur.de/media/thumbs/5/52107d1f8ab4d76acb26f260ab04ee97v1_max_635x357_b3535db83dc50e27c1bb1392364c95a2.jpg?key=da3a02)
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71P6Sd6U8cL._AC_SY355_.jpg)
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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7914821/Gwyneth-Paltrow-poses-flower-vagina-Goop-Lab-screening.html
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I think this is all very tongue
in cheek, errrm, somewhere!
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I can't help but observe that "Coochie Stank" could easily become a punk band name.....
Didn't they tour with the Pistols?
Breakfast tacos, anyone?
:rimshot:
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Is this even vegan?
Oh, I'm pretty sure we all know the answer to that.
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Goop severely criticized in the UK.
https://www.bbc.com/news/health-51312441
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Goop severely criticized in the UK.
https://www.bbc.com/news/health-51312441
Unfortunately it probably won't have much effect on its target audience.
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Esoteric voodoo health crap, Gwyneth ain't the worst, anti-vaccinators are, but she's bad enough. I always marvel at how much resonance these people have, especially with women. If you've lived like me for a couple of years in the tropics and seen how the absence or dearth of conventional medicine availability negatively affects the health situation of a population, you're literally cured from this cloud-cuckoo-medicine stuff.
In Germany, whole parts of the population have fallen for this homeopathy/alternative medicine bullshit. Finish doesn't affect sound - as this most scientific of fora has often determined and re-established - and homeopathic medicine doesn't affect health (except for making it worse for lack of effective counter-measures).
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She and Goop are full of crap regarding "health" but she's right about at least one thing, though probably by accident: most sunscreen is bad - for coral reefs.
https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/news/sunscreen-corals.html
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No issue with that, stay out of the sun (unless you are a lizard, they don't get
skin scale cancer), goddammit!
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Esoteric voodoo health crap, Gwyneth ain't the worst, anti-vaccinators are, but she's bad enough. I always marvel at how much resonance these people have, especially with women. If you've lived like me for a couple of years in the tropics and seen how the absence or dearth of conventional medicine availability negatively affects the health situation of a population, you're literally cured from this cloud-cuckoo-medicine stuff.
In Germany, whole parts of the population have fallen for this homeopathy/alternative medicine bullshit. Finish doesn't affect sound - as this most scientific of fora has often determined and re-established - and homeopathic medicine doesn't affect health (except for making it worse for lack of effective counter-measures).
https://youtu.be/HMGIbOGu8q0
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:mrgreen: Too true! Love the homeopath(et)ic draft beer at the end. :rimshot:
Even though I have to admit that the sheer nonsensicality of it (especially this dilution und shaking the fluid-thing) aggravates me quite a bit. It drives me nuts that German health insurance even pays for some of this stuff because they shy away from the conflict of no longer covering it - yet at the same time even the homeopathy industry and interest groups freely admit that there is no scientific proof for any of this stuff doing anything. Nor do they invest in any scientific testing - they simple ride on a wave of superstition.
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Esoteric voodoo health crap, Gwyneth ain't the worst, anti-vaccinators are,
care to guess the percentage of antivaxers among goop's clientele?
Goop got savaged in last weeks new scientist too
my wife bought me a tshirt that says "Homeopathy is the Air Guitar of medicine "
Homeopathy works through the placebo effect, which can be really powerful sometimes
after years against railing against the nonsense of it I had to eat my words somewhat when the only thing that would settle my teething daughter was Nelsons Homeopathic teething powder.
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If it helped, it did no wrong! :mrgreen: No doubt homeopathic treatments are sometimes concluded by a positive result - causation is the issue. Without proof of causation, you're in the realm of faith. But if it helps, it helps. Faith can be a healer too.
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No doubt homeopathic treatments are sometimes concluded by a positive result - causation is the issue. Without proof of causation, you're in the realm of faith
The placebo effect can trick the body into doing some amazing things, that's why they have to control for it in rigorous tests
. Faith can be a healer too.
cant let a quote like that pass without dropping my old firm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rQ6BBc8f6Y
quite sad theres only Zal and Chris left now
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A hard rock disco dance floor classic of my youth!
I always wondered how much it later on inspired this here, you know how all Dutchmen steal:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvGPYdF20e0
Another dance floor classic.
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The placebo effect can trick the body into doing some amazing things, that's why they have to control for it in rigorous tests
cant let a quote like that pass without dropping my old firm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rQ6BBc8f6Y
quite sad theres only Zal and Chris left now
Let me put my hands on you... I loved the SAHB!
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Next!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vaLi9W6HRc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vaLi9W6HRc)
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There was something truly disconcerting about them! Very pleasant. :mrgreen:
Alex Harvey was in the same lecherous, threateningly unsavory vein as Gary Holton of the Heavy Metal Kids (which were not heavy metal at all).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbE0X5mC13A
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Let's get back on topic
Good News Everybody, Gwyneth Paltrow's Vagina Candle Is Back In Stock (https://comicbook.com/irl/2020/02/08/good-news-everybody-gwyneth-paltrows-vagina-candle-is-back-in-stock/)
A Purse Worth $23,000 Was Stolen From Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Store (https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/salvadorhernandez/goop-lab-gwyneth-paltrow-stolen-purse)
Okay, which one of you is the guy on the security camera footage? :mrgreen:
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There is also a singer (her name escapes me) who is copying Gwyneth on the scent thing. She said her fans deserve it. I would try to look that up, but she has a very unusual name. I briefly read the article about it and then moved on.
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Let's get back on topic
Good News Everybody, Gwyneth Paltrow's Vagina Candle Is Back In Stock (https://comicbook.com/irl/2020/02/08/good-news-everybody-gwyneth-paltrows-vagina-candle-is-back-in-stock/)
A Purse Worth $23,000 Was Stolen From Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Store (https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/salvadorhernandez/goop-lab-gwyneth-paltrow-stolen-purse)
Okay, which one of you is the guy on the security camera footage? :mrgreen:
Aw, shucks ...
(https://media0.giphy.com/media/RIlhQaG2BBQVlCn0hu/giphy.gif)
It was meant as a surprise present for your birthday, Dave. You said you wanted something to remember her by.
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Aw, shucks ...
(https://media0.giphy.com/media/RIlhQaG2BBQVlCn0hu/giphy.gif)
It was meant as a surprise present for your birthday, Dave. You said you wanted something to remember her by.
What a nice gesture! You shouldn't have! :mrgreen:
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It seems Gwyneth's candle is about ending shame and making a punk rock statement.
Oh, I just now noticed she has already made the punk rock statement to Seth Meyers. I guess she is recycling the content of her interview material now. She knows how to stay in the news, though.
https://www.perthnow.com.au/news/offbeat/gwyneth-paltrow-wants-to-remove-shame-from-womens-privates-with-vagina-candle-ng-b881463265z
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Let me put my hands on you... I loved the SAHB!
They are lovely people and the two tours I did with them were some of the best times I had in rock'n'roll
I have them to thank for a lot of my success as a video guy. Chris Glenn saw me VJing at a rave with Public Domain and decided my show would work in a rock setting, and then when Joe Elliot made a guest appearance at a SAHB gig he decided my stuff would look good in a stadium, and the rest is history
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It seems Gwyneth's candle is about ending shame and making a punk rock statement.
Oh, I just now noticed she has already made the punk rock statement to Seth Meyers. I guess she is recycling the content of her interview material now. She knows how to stay in the news, though.
https://www.perthnow.com.au/news/offbeat/gwyneth-paltrow-wants-to-remove-shame-from-womens-privates-with-vagina-candle-ng-b881463265z
A likely story. ???
Sounds like she's backtracking to lessen the ridicule.
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A likely story. ???
Sounds like she's backtracking to lessen the ridicule.
I can't figure out why Elton John has bought so many of these candles. As far as I know, he hasn't offered any reason why he is so fond of them.
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Yeah, that's a real puzzler.
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No, it's not, he wanted something that smelled exotic to him.
Plus he name-checked it all decades before in one of his Bernie's more famous lyrics:
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the clit
Never knowing where to stick it
When the flood set in
PS: This with all due respect to ole Reg and his buddy Bernie, they have collectively written some great songs - and I thought the biopic Rocket Man much more substantial than the overrated Queen one. Those scenes where "Elton"/Taron Egerton sits in full stage regalia
(https://blog.screenweek.it/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/trailer-per-rocketman.jpg)
in an AA type session at Betty Ford (and as he tells his tale his costume falls away one by one - first the feathers) were magnificent in their cinematic poetry.
PPS: All credit to Gwyneth, that candle was a smart move, sold like hot cakes, did no harm to anyone and more importantly she didn't claim it was in any way health-beneficial either. No issues with that. Who said that wax and sex don't mix? Ouch.
PPPS: I'm still a great fan of Honky Chateau, the pinnacle of his work IMHO though there are other very good albums too from around that era.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fg3BgMnRXSQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaXnZmAvxJQ&list=OLAK5uy_kvj-2-fGagCwVFyoG4ct34cj4F8Idx86c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POD9Hq0EqXA&list=OLAK5uy_kvj-2-fGagCwVFyoG4ct34cj4F8Idx86c&index=3
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A little Gwyneth satire for you. ;)
Gwyneth Paltrow Reportedly Close To Vaginal Egg Cure For COVID-19 (http://www.breakingburgh.com/gwyneth-paltrow-reportedly-close-to-vaginal-egg-cure-for-covid-19/)