The Last Bass Outpost

Nice one again, Chris. But don't let your friends at Warwick see you getting too comfortable with Höfners. 

You've not seen his Instagram feed!

I do find it interesting, however, that for someone who was born long after Kiss' initial heyday, you have spent an impressive amount of time analyzing not only their musical abilities, but their lyrical content, stage presentation, motivation, and their place in rock-n-roll history - and yet you can't seem to grasp what it is that made them so successful.

It took me about five minutes, or three Kiss tunes, to grasp their musical abilities, lyrical content, stage presentation and motivation. A further five minutes cemented the deal.

Nothing for me not to grasp here. They were successful in the same way that Wrestling is successful, or monster trucks flattening a line of cars. Attention-grabbing macho posturing in a controlled environment, with enough theatrics for kids with limited attention span. Kiss had the stomping rock assault of Slade, but with the added bonus of a gory and extreme stageshow. The same shit that got us all chatting about Slipknot and co when I was a young adolescent. Somebody's older brother (it always was) went to a Slipknot show, and they threw live animals into the crowd and refused to play a note until the crowd had torn these animals to shreds! The same myth was spread around about Kiss, apparently. Shock, revulsion, the idea that you are witnessing something a bit taboo, exciting and off-grid, and you parents almost certainly don't like it. Kiss are satanists! Kiss perform rituals onstage! Kiss kill animals onstage!!! All that nonsense.

My issue with Kiss is their extreme level of money-mindedness. Their music was only a vector, or one of a competing range of elements of their existence, in a bid to make lots of money. They must be up there with the Beatles in terms of having a sea of tacky merchandise made in their image? Only the Beatles were innovative artists, and Kiss made brainless pounding tunes where the chorus is simply the name of the track yelled four or eight times... big difference.

I'm not saying Rock 'n' Roll has to be cerebral. My favorite AC/DC album is Dirty Deeds fer fack's sake. Of that era I like Deep Purple, UFO, Uriah Heep (!), Montrose, Status Quo... there is a whole raft of brainless double-denim Dad Rock I can listen to and enjoy. Kiss don't sound that good to simply sit down and listen to, because so much of their dubious craft was spent on the visuals (and making sure they always translated into money). The singers don't have iconic voices, the lead guitarist simply plunders the Chuck Berry phrase book, the bass is a groove-less farting plod and the drummer is also totally non noteworthy. I can't simply go to my local enormodome the next time they're in town and watch Gene spit blood capsules down his bass, so I have to rely on recordings and videos to make any sort of judgement. I'm sure they were significant in the '70s but their sound, stagecraft and image have aged worse than most of their contemporaries in my opinion.

No pressure, eh! My guess is that the Jazz pickup routes will be a wee tiny bit too wide. Maybe ~2mm or so, or a 'baw hair' in Scots. I think I might be able to get away without using the rings.

40+ years on, the sting of sour grapes on the tongue is too much for some to bear, eh?

Not really! What next? "I'd like to see you write something as good as Strutter!!!"

 I was born in 1989 so Kiss is just old-people music for me and there is nothing for me to be bitter about. The woman that cut our hair as kids liked them! However there is literally hundreds of better old-people bands out there, that didn't have to cover over their musical deficiencies and mind-numbing lyrics by dressing up a concert as a WWE wrestling tournament. Kiss really were only in it for the money, and went way beyond other bands in a bid to extract that money from their fans. There is nothing cerebral about their music at all; it was for kids and teenage boys, and the fact that they can tour with two different guys in costume just demonstrates that they are more of a franchise than a legitimate artistic entity.

After all this time I wish there was something inspiring about Gene's bass playing, for example, but he is way more concerned about getting his stupid botox face and nylon wig into the press or simply making money, than he has ever been about playing bass. That video with Carol Kaye schooling him is some funny shit! The guy still has no inherent sense of rhythm or musicality after being a "pro" musician for decades. How does that work?

As always, he's only in it for the money. 

Man, Kiss sucks. 

Honestly I think they were a perfectly adequate if hardly envelope-pushing hard rock band. I think Ace Frehley is one of the laziest guitarists of the era. Yet they've diluted their core worth unbelievably with their moneygrubbing antics and endless cheapening. I know a lot of bands back then relied on a big show to sell units and grab attention, but Kiss went further and basically became some weird commercial entity that just happened to make no-brainer rock tunes.

Man, Kiss sucks. At least the frets won't be worn any above the fifth.

That was great to see and hear! Had to Google it, but that is Aynsley Dunbar on drums, but still Trevor Bolder on bass. Hearing Trevor with another drummer is interesting. I'm up to speed with Bowie's Santa Monica live recording from the previous year,but this weird post-Ziggy last hurrah is sort of new to me. Some of the lush schmaltziness of his next phase is starting to creep in, but it is still fundamentally a Ziggy performance. What always strikes me is how closely Bowie's voice paired with Mick Ronson's. On the Santa Monica recording it is like hearing two Bowies.